“In the middle, can’t get above or below
In the middle, everything that’s left ain’t right
In the middle, and I have to get up to get down
In the middle, Can’t spend another minute outside of the…
… Cooking with the hottest heat – in the middle
The heart of the matter lies right – in the middle
And everything that matters resides – in the middle…
I ain’t gonna get caught – in the middle
Remember everything I forgot is – in the middle
Guess I’m gonna have to decide – in the middle
Nothing happens when you just stand right – in the middle
Balancing the two extremes – in the middle
Swinging in the in-between – in the middle
Going where there isn’t a guide – in the middle
Going where love is hiding…”
Jamie Woon (Middle)
“It’s going to take another three years,” she said.
I could feel the heat rising inside of me – so much anger.
This is what happens when you change your degree because of complications… What was supposed to be three years was going to be two (that I already had behind me) plus another three (plus, plus…).
I was angry because I was going back into an institution.
I was angry because I was going back into restricted time schedules.
I was angry because it seemed like I was going around in circles.
My friends were confused because it felt like I had been studying for ages – and I really had. There were other friends who were already doing so much else.
When I left school and started choosing to do life differently than my peers, my aunt and I had a conversation. “Just make sure that you’re okay with seeing people who chose to take the normal route of studying straight after school (dating , getting married, getting a job, house, car, kids etc.,) carry on with life and succeed all around you. Make sure that you’re okay with succeeding in your own way and in your own time…”
And since then, I’ve largely been okay, except every once in a while when I’ve found myself in the middle. You know, the middle? The middle of getting anywhere that you might want to go; where everything is bad, when it seems like you’re not going anywhere, where nothing happens but everything happens, when you can’t see the end and you’re most likely to give up and forget why you’re doing what you’re doing.
While in the middle I’ve experienced blackouts, near-panic attacks, spouts of depression, a ton of totally “faithing it” and then also seeing Jesus come through for me in the most insane ways. In the middle I learnt to kick the doubt and impatience and just to look out of my window and enjoy the ride.
Two days ago though, I found myself coming out of a meeting that finally meant that I was nearing the end of a season in my life. I was and am no longer in the middle, but near the end – even though I still have a way to go. I left there with my heart so happy. There was a small light at the end of the tunnel, and already I was making plans for the next journey (somebody stop me! haha!).
When we’re young, we’re so quick to be unhappy with where we are without being able to see the bigger picture. We will have all of our lives to reach our destinations – although, we’d hope that we don’t spend all our lives reaching our destination.
In my mind, life is a big race full of many small races – some of them long and some of them short. It would be wise to learn patience and the benefit of sowing and reaping early on in the game.
“An inheritance gained too early in life, is not a blessing it is an end… The Lord directs our steps, so why try and understand everything along the way?” Proverbs 20:21, 24
Part of finding contentment when you’re in the middle is understanding and having a grateful heart. I am sure that an attitude of gratefulness is medicine for one’s soul:
“Giving thanks always for all things to God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,” Ephesians 5:20
“In everything, give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you,” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
Are you in the middle? If you are and find that you need a bit of help putting your head down and getting the work done because the end is very far to go, why don’t you join me in surrendering to the need to always understand and have control. It might be far to go, but if you walk a step in the right direction, it is closer today than it was yesterday! Then, if you do not know Jesus, the source of the hope that I am speaking about, and would like to know more, why don’t you click on the banner below.