I remember once meeting a “famous” Instagram celeb. Literally, the boy had more followers on his account than I have Rands in my bank account (which is a very scary thought). He had a smile like heaven, which helped; was ridiculously photogenic, which helped too, but what won him all his followers was the inspirational thoughts he would put below his captions.
Reading through his Instagram account was like modern-day poetry – I felt like I could change the world in an instant. I felt greater, more noble even. It was like I could take on anything and slay all the dragons in one foul swoop. I was so excited to meet this person.
I spent a week in the company of Mr Instagram. We went for dinner a few times with friends, we got drinks, we discussed some interesting topics. He was physically as beautiful off-line as on, however I soon realised that the online persona was only a small part of his character. He was all over the place and lacked basic skills like communication and always arrived late. I learned a hard lesson – what someone puts “out there” and what they are actually like, is two different things.
As a leader and an influencer, I always ensure that the gap between what I profess with my profile and the person you meet in reality, is as small as possible. I don’t want someone to come away from meeting me and feel disappointed or let down. I’m aware that none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes. However, we always need to be intentional about growing our character to match our status, or else eventually, we will lose the status we so enjoy.
There are 3 things which shape and influence your character. Get these right and you will find you have less of a challenge trying to merge your personalities.
What do you consume?
All day we consume, and this doesn’t mean eating. All day we consume data on the Internet, News, TV, Books, Podcasts, Magazines, Radio Shows. What we read in these media sources sits in our brain and feeds our thoughts. If we consume poor quality media then, like junk food, we will start to see our character and our sense of self negatively affected. Do a content audit and ask yourself the question, what content am I constantly consuming and how is this affecting me?
Who do you hang with?
They say you become like the 5 closest people to you. This is true. The people who are a part of your world will change how you see things and what you say. You pick up people’s perspectives and soon they become your own. If this is the case why don’t we become more intentional about our relationship choices? Often we get into a drift state where we are friends with people simply because they are in our life, or because we can’t be bothered to go make new friends. Don’t drift, the cost is greater in the long run. Find good friends and gather good people around you to shape your character.
What are your key habits?
We are the habits we keep. Our habits own us, they dictate a lot of our success and they lead us in ways without us often realising. Habits are powerful because most of the time you don’t even recognise them. Good habits lead to good outcomes and vice versa. Take a moment to think about the habits that you have in your life and ask yourself if they are good, or bad? If there are bad ones, come up with an action plan and change them. Habits can be changed.
Get these 3 things right and you will find you struggle a whole lot less with your character. Remember, true leadership is inside out.