One of the earliest and very important things I was taught growing up is the notion of giving respect. In Africa, learning to respect yourself and others is generally strongly encouraged in children, and for girls especially respect is often taken to a much higher level. In many African cultures, you are taught to slightly bend or even completely go to one knee when you greet or serve a senior person, as a sign of respect to them. This is how far people would go to show and emphasize how important respect is, and though things are not as they used to be, teenagers and young adults tend to be more rebellious and less revering of elders, deep down most of us still remember and try to abide by that good old teaching: respect is important!
A few weeks ago, I had a very ugly encounter with a close friend of mine. We’ve been through a lot, been together as we were growing up and saw each other go through certain stages of life. But when faced with a situation that got us both worked up, I saw how close we came to losing respect for one another, in the way we spoke and treated each other. A thought quickly came to mind: this is a friend, and it really doesn’t matter what the trouble is, she has earned a place in my life that simply doesn’t allow me to disrespect her. I’m not sure if the same thought crossed my friend’s mind, but at the end of the day, the words I heard were hurtful, coming from someone who is in fact more than a friend. I sat and asked myself “is it difficult to respect others?” If in friendship, a small matter takes us to the brink of disrespect, what does this speak of our character? How would our attitude be if we were placed in that same situation with a total stranger? Why has respect become a scarce value? Have we become so self-sufficient that the next person means nothing anymore?
I’m a firm believer that respect is first and foremost an attitude of the heart, and not something based on who the person you are giving (or not giving) respect to is to you or what they have. You can only give respect if you believe the person is worthy of it. They say respect must be earned. That is true, but before we even get deep into relationship, status, and all that, one must remember that every human being needs a certain level of respect, simply based on the fact that they are human, they have a soul and a dignity that needs to be respected. And when a relationship is formed, specifically that of friendship or family, issues of respect become even more sensitive, because what we say and do can destroy what took years to build. It doesn’t cost much give to give respect. Often, it’s our pride, hurt and disappointment that lead us to think we are better than others in some way. The human heart can be prideful, selfish and deceitful. We all have something we struggle with, for some it could be the tendency to not value others; for others, it’s the tendency to not see value in themselves. But, what gives us the courage to even address these matters in writing as we do here at 1Africa is the trust that we have in God and His ability to help us become better people, to ourselves and to others. If you’d like to know Him, please click on the banner below.