The other day, an extremely traumatized young man ran into his uncle’s office, having just attended a meeting for Christian youth at his church. As he sat in his chair, he took a moment to catch his breath and calm down. He had something to say to his uncle. It seemed quite urgent. After cooling down and then having a sip from the glass of water his uncle had placed in front of him, he took a breath and, quite nervously, looked his favourite uncle – his father’s youngest brother – in the eye. His question, “I really need to know… is it wrong to look at women?” The older man, who had thought his nephew had come in to deliver some bad news, burst into uncontrollable laughter. Then, with the calm but caring demeanour he was known for in the family, he stood up, came round the desk to where the young man was and put his hand on his shoulder. “Let me tell you a couple of things”…
The world of relationships is an exciting but tricky one, especially when one is still young and trying to figure it all out. In Africa particularly, conversations around relationships with the opposite sex and sex itself are frowned upon and, often, completely ignored. There seems to be an assumption that young people can figure it out till they get to a certain age where words like ‘marriage’ and ‘commitment’ become more acceptable.
Our elders are right in making sure that kids don’t get involved in things they’re not ready for. The Good Book states very clearly and simply that everything is beautiful in its time. You often hear mothers and grandmothers make the statement that children shouldn’t be having children. This is true. The basis of it is true but more needs to be communicated.
When a young man comes in to ask the question “is it wrong to look at women?”, the response shouldn’t be to rubbish his question, smack him over the head and shoo him out of the room. That’s a cop-out and it’s actually a sign of poor leadership. He needs to be told that it’s natural and perfectly human and natural to look at women. However, looking isn’t something that just ends there. It creates feelings of sexual desire in him and those feelings tend to be triggered to progress to a point of being played out. It should be explained that there are consequences of one sort or another to acting those feelings out. The solution? As much as is possible, channel your focus to other areas – study, the pursuit of academic and career dreams – because, if allowed to, sex can be one major area of focus all on its own. Is that to say that sex is evil? No. But, again, the wisdom of the Bible rings true – everything is beautiful in its time.
The wisdom of the Bible is something we often paper over but don’t fully appreciate a lot of the time. As much as it applies to ‘deep’ concepts like prayer and salvation, it also is an extremely practical book that needs to be read and studied by young people and old people alike. If you’re young and looking for simple direction for your life, God and his word (often referred to as the Bible) are exactly what you’re looking for. To know more about a relationship with God, click on the banner below.