“What are your plans for Christmas day?” I’ve asked this question over many years to a varied audience over many different platforms. For Christmas after Christmas, either live on radio, or using social media, this question has been answered by a representative of more that half of the countries across Africa and almost every response has carried this phrase (or at least some form of it): “We’ll be sitting down to a a family meal” There’s no getting around the fact that in almost every household, there will be a special meal of some kind, enjoyed by friends and family, with laughter, conversation and the possibility of overdoing it. Chances are good you’ll probably eat too much, or you’ll sit next to the uncle that gets a bit drunk and talks nonsense, and spits a little when he talks.
We all know that when the family all come together, there can be issues. There’s the aunt that you sister doesn’t like and the cousins that are not on speaking terms. There’s the people that arrive ridiculously late and pretend like it’s no big deal, even if the meat is tough and dry because you had to wait for them. The moms are stressed out because they want everything to be perfect and also a bit annoyed because the dads don’t seem to want to help at all, only content to stand around and talk about football! I can already see the young people, glued to their smart phones, and the grandparents simply rolling their eyes. Christmas day. We look forward to it; the host wants it to be a huge success, and most people aren’t too worried as long as the rice isn’t burned and it’s ok for them to loosen their belts, just after their third helping of food. Let’s at least admit that Christmas time, enjoyed as family, can bring with it a fair bit of complex issues and can have you feeling so stressed at a time of year when we should be unwinding, and enjoying ourselves. Here’s a short list of things to consider, that might make the day a little more bearable:
Pace yourself:
This is true for what you eat, as well as what you drink. Too much food could mean weight gain, or getting ill, or not having any space for your dessert! Drinking too much brings with it a whole pile of social issues, so make sure the memories of the day are good ones, and not ones you’d rather forget.
Be Kind:
When faced with members of the family that really test your patience, be smart about how you spend your time with them. Mingle and grab special moments with as many people as you can, and don’t be scared to take a 10 minute ‘time out’ for fresh air, or to make a phone call. But mostly, treat even the difficult people with some kindness; it might just catch them off guard.
All hands on deck:
When it’s time to present the food or to do the cleaning up afterwards, get everyone together to lend a hand. Cleaning up, drying dishes or packing things away, can be part of the get-together, talking and sharing while getting things done. Oh, and get the men involved! It’s better to stand up and walk about then lie down down after a big meal, despite how you feel, and there’s no live sport on the TV anyway!
Have fun:
No matter what you end up doing on the day, make sure the day is merry, and don’t allow yourself to feel pressure if you’re the host. If you’re a guest, make the hosts feel comfortable, and make loads of happy memories, even if things go a bit wrong. In the years to come you’ll have a great story and a laugh, and that is what will count! ‘Remember that one Christmas when grandma accidentally set fire to the mashed potatoes?’
And if you still need help to loosen up, here’s a great laugh….
Merry Christmas, Everyone!