Ask any parent whether they love their child and hopefully the answer would be a resounding “Yes”. Ask the same person if they ever get angry with their child and you’ll probably find the response will be the same. Being angry doesn’t make you a bad parent (thankfully), but how you choose to behave in those moments is very important for your relationship with your child and their future development.
Temperature is rising
It’s a very unique person who can keep their temper under control 100% of the time. Boiling over and allowing your anger to get the better of you happens to us all from time to time. For some reason children tend to know exactly how to push their parents’ buttons and seem to always choose the perfect time to cause maximum frustration. As parents we need to learn how best to express our anger in a way that won’t do damage or cause confusion. Although it can be hard to stop such a powerful emotion in the heat of the moment, here are a few things to bear in mind next time you begin to lose control.
- You are the grown up
This may be completely obvious when you’re rational but, when you’re in a rage it can be easy to forget that you are the parent and need to act like one. Your child looks to you for everything. You are their safe place, their hero, their comfort and their provision. If your anger causes you to yell and rant at your child you are shaking their whole world.
- Shouting doesn’t help
While it may release some of your frustration to shout when you’re angry, yelling won’t help the situation. Children who are exposed to shouting on a frequent basis become immune to angry outbursts. Instead of making your child sit up and listen, a shouted response may have the opposite result. So you may also find the more you shout, the more out of control your child becomes.
- Count to ten
Many parents use timeouts as a form of discipline but when you feel your anger rising taking a step back and giving yourself a chance to regain control can stop any flare-ups before they happen. When you begin to see red, take a deep breath, count to ten and do whatever it takes to stay calm.
- Make it a priority
It’s easier to keep your anger in check if you’ve already decided that staying in control is important to you. Make a conscious decision to remain calm, even when you’re frustrated and angry. Controlling your anger will never happen if you’re not intentional about it.
Be the best you
Being angry isn’t wrong but sometimes; the things we do in our anger are far removed from the people and parents we want to be. Being the perfect parent isn’t really possible but the good news is that perfection isn’t what’s required. Being the best you that you can be is all that is needed.