No one likes to have their weaknesses pointed out to them. Being criticised, whether it be by your friends and family, teachers or work colleagues is rarely fun, but the truth is that an individual who is able to listen to and digest critique from others, has the opportunity to use that information to fast-track their personal growth and development.
Take criticism seriously but not personally – Hillary Clinton
If you want to live a life without being criticised it’s best that you stay in bed and do nothing. People will always have opinions and the chances are that no matter how good your intentions or how great you are, somewhere along the way someone will point out a short-fall or failing on your part.
Two-sides of the coin
It’s worth stating that not all criticism is equal. There are two sides to coin and hopefully if you are on the receiving end you will be experiencing constructive criticism rather than destructive criticism.
The constructive criticism seeks to help you improve and grow and although it may not feel like it, is intended to help you in some way. On the other hand, destructive criticism is intended to destroy your confidence, tear you down and leave you worse off than before. It’s important to recognise the difference and not to confuse the two. Destructive criticism should be seen for what it is. Normally it’s thoughtless and aggressive and given with the intention to wound. Having said that if you are able to sift through the bitterness and anger, you may be able to learn from the analysis but bear in mind the source of the criticism and that the perspective may not be entirely without bias. Regardless of the purpose behind the words, how you deal with the assessment given to you is vital.
Try not to get emotional
Being told something that seems negative, whether it be about your character or your work can be painful but an emotional response won’t help. Getting upset or angry hinders your ability to listen and to accurately hear what is being said. A huge emotional blowout can also just create drama and end up being the only thing you take away with you.
Make sure you understand
When someone points out areas where you can improve it’s easy to hear things that aren’t being said or to misunderstand. If you can, calmly ask for clarity or for specific examples. The more information they can give you, the more constructive and helpful their assessment may prove to be.
See the criticism as an opportunity
Remember that this could be a chance for you to grow and develop. Try not to get defensive but instead keep in mind that there are benefits from receiving feedback especially if it can make you stronger in the long run.
Critique the critique
It’s a good idea to sift through the feedback and assess what is helpful, what is accurate and what you can do with the information you have been given. Not everything will be applicable, so keep the good stuff.
Take steps to put the advice to good use
Any criticism, if not acted upon is wasted. It would be terrible to go through the discomfort of receiving feedback and not to have some positive comeout from the experience. Take the things that you can build on and turn them into goals or action points that you can build into your life.
Recognising that we have weaknesses or failings is the first step towards getting stronger and moving forward. Everyone has areas they can improve upon and having someone point these out to you isn’t the end of the world but what you do about your weak spots makes all the difference.
The Bible tells us that we all have a weak spot and it keeps us from knowing God and His gift of eternal life. Just as with any constructive criticism, this isn’t fun to hear but the good news is that if we acknowledge our shortfall and turn to God we can have the relationship with our Creator that we were always purposed to have.
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