I have all the communal living horror stories. At one (scary) time in my life a friend and I were staying with seven people in a house in America while all of us South Africans were trying to figure out accommodation. I kid you not, we had to sleep in a row and step over each other on the way to work. I hated the people that started at 5am.
I shared a single bathroom with 10 people. I’ve shared with 18-year-old South American girls who have never left home before and never picked up a plate for themselves. I’ve lived with insomniacs who watch series all night and sleep all day. This would be fine if it was a house full of other insomniacs – I have no problem sleeping. That is until Game of Thrones fight scenes interrupt my blissful dreams.
I’ve lived in a house in London where we could hear our neighbours screaming at each other until 2am in the morning. I’ve lived in a house where we left for work high every morning because the house next to ours appeared to be operating as an illegal drug store.
Dealing with your neighbours is not always easy – depending on the neighbour, of course. Where I live now I don’t even know my neighbours. They change all the time and we stay a mere metre from each other but don’t know each other’s names – this is frightening.
It feels so much easier to hate your neighbours or ignore them. They aren’t your friends and they are pushed on you by circumstance, not choice. The fact of the matter is that it is important to treat everyone on the planet with dignity and respect – even your neighbour.
Things you shouldn’t do to your neighbours
Leave dodgy things outside the door
Don’t pack up your garbage bag with the half-baked thought that you will take it to the bin when you get a chance and then leave it outside your door for three weeks. It smells. It blocks the passage and there will be bin juice when you pick it up again – yuck!
Party until 3am
Okay, we all know when the party gets pumping none of your friends are going to want to go anywhere which isn’t your fridge. Make them. It’s not fair to make your neighbours live through your friends’ late night jokes and dance moves. Prep everyone in advance, order an Uber, and bribe them out of the door if you have to.
Blast music
There is nothing more satisfying than dancing around your kitchen with your favourite song at full blast. This is fine, unless it’s 1am and your neighbours have a newborn baby who it has taken them three hours to get to sleep. Think before you blast. Midday: yes. Midnight: No.
Borrow things and never give them back
So… everyone RSVPd to Mexican night – oh heck. You own six plates, not 16. #firstworldproblem and potential emergency. Oh wait, no it’s not, Tom next door is a human. He probably has plates. I’ll ask him for his. Tom lends you 10 plates (not the china ones from Grandma but the white ones from Mr Price Home). Give them back. Give them back clean. Give back all 10. Else you are sketchy.
Things you should do to your neighbours
Take over cookies
On the very rare occasion that I make cookies I make them because I really feel like them. But then after half a bucket of cookie dough, three warm cookies and three cold ones, I feel sick. Use this short time frame to be kind to your neighbour. Wrap up the remaining cookies before your body recovers from its sugar coma and give them to your neighbour. You will win and eternal friend and save yourself any further comas. Win, win.
Say hi when you cross paths
I know you rival grumpy when you wake up in the morning. Well, I do. I’m the Wicked Witch of the West. Still, it’s nice to see a smiling face in the lift when you are all squashed together instead of a frown. Be nice to your neighbour; say hi; open the door for their kid.
Get to know security
Last but not least, your security staff are people too. They want someone to talk to. Their job is boring sometimes and they keep you safe. Make the effort to get to know the people who are looking after your wellbeing. If you have extra cookies, feel free to give them to security.
Your neighbour isn’t always your direct neighbour as in Sally next door, but the people around you. You can’t control them, but you can control you, so love them as best you can.