Whenever I’ve had a conversation with friends on the subject of love and relationships, and I shared my desire to have a family one day, and at times expressed frustration at how everything is taking long, very often they would say to me: It will happen when you least expect it, when you stop worrying about it or looking for it.
Hearing this over and over frustrated me even further. Being single over a prolonged period can be a bitter-sweet experience just like most things in life have a good and a ‘not-so-good’ side. There are days you’re on top of the world, enjoying your flexibility and the fact that your schedule or decisions don’t have to depend on anybody’s schedule and needs – you do as you please, when you please. And there are days you wish your experiences in life, your achievements and your low points could be shared with someone who’s more than a friend, a sister or a brother.
So in my seasons of being grumpy, people would tell me what I didn’t want to hear : It’ll happen when the time is right, often good things come to us when we didn’t look for them.
Over time I came to be at peace with my life and I saw that there was a major truth in what people told me.
Truly, the best things we have in life are not things we worked hard or dug deep to get. This applies to love and relationships too. Yes there is hard work involved in maintaining a healthy relationship, we have a role to play in everything. “Love will find you” doesn’t mean someone will locate your address and come knock at your door. Get on with your life, enjoy it, make friends, be where you ought to be and great things will come your way. True love cannot be fabricated, a love that is manufactured by our own efforts out of fear of missing out on life will collapse one day. Focus on making yourself better, just be you and let love find you.
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