What if you could build things with your words, like God? Say I said, “river” and a river would appear and we could jump in it, have a swim and then jump out again. Or If I said “donkey” and then a donkey would appear walk around and eat some hay. It would be fun. Think about it – what would you say? What would you create with your words? A holiday house in Italy – yes I like the sound of that.
The crazy thing is, even though I can’t create a holiday house right there in front of my eyes, God has given us the ability to build things with our words. Actually, we have the ability to build something even better than a holiday house in Italy (difficult as that is to imagine) – we have the ability to build relationships. The words we speak can build beautiful mysterious connections between us and another person. There are specific words which are really powerful, they are like the legs of the table. They cost us nothing and yet their power to make a relationship strong is unparalleled.
I call these words “magic words,” because really, they are.
I trust you
No relationship can really work without an element of trust. You have to trust that your friends won’t gossip about things that you share. You have to trust that your partner won’t go to the bar when he says he’s going to the gym. Trust is key in a relationship and you need to affirm that you trust the people you have in your life.
I miss you
When you are away from someone who you care about, or haven’t had much chance to catch up with, then tell them you miss them. This let’s the other person know that you value their presence in your life.
I’m sorry
These two words can keep a relationship going even in tough times. Most of the time it’s more important to understand each other than it is to be right, or have your say. Small fights can start to get everyone down and slowly erode something good. Learn what’s worth fighting about and what you can let go.
I respect you
Every person has the desire to be heard and for their opinion to be respected. Respect is like an invisible line which you mutually agree not to cross because it is recognised as someone else’s space. Tell the people around you that you respect them and show them respect by treating them as an equal.
You look great
If your friend is looking lovely, tell her. If your partner has a new top which looks great, tell him/her. Even guys appreciate a genuine compliment.
I’m grateful for you
The people in your life make it far, far better. They bring you support, affection, advice, encouragement and care. Let them know that you are grateful for all they do and they will not feel undervalued or insecure.
I support you
As humans, we are always up against some kind of challenge. Every challenge is easier with some support. Reassure your friends or partner and let them know that you support them. Do this even more when things get really tough and they will feel inspired to chase their dreams and be the best they can be.
I appreciate you
We all like to feel valued for who we are and what we bring to a relationship. Telling someone you appreciate them validates their efforts and keeps them investing into your relationship.
Let’s go to…
Relationships often end because it feels like only one person takes initiative and makes suggestions about things to do or places to go. A fun relationship doesn’t happen without effort from both sides. Keep suggesting new things to do – this sends a clear signal to the other person that you are keeping things alive and want them to stick around.
I love you
These little words can make everything else in the world melt. I don’t think we fully understand the power of loving someone and being loved. Love is crucial to our humanness. Tell the people you love that you love them.
There we have it all the magic words you need to build something of lasting value, something more incredible than any house or material object – great relationships. Go release your magic.