Manners Maketh the (little) Man
There is something incredibly satisfying as a parent when you hear your child being well mannered. A well-behaved and courteous child is the stuff of dreams and no matter how you look at it, their behaviour, good or bad, is a reflection on your skill as a parent (ouch!).
Etiquette or good manners may seem like an old-fashioned approach to life, especially in a society that functions at such a high speed but at the root of good manners is our ability to treat people with respect and should be of the utmost importance.
Manners are a habit. They should not be kept for special social occasions or for when you want to impress but they should be part of your everyday life and of how you deal with those around you.
To train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
Monkey see, Monkey do
As a parent you need to show and teach your child how they should act and how they should treat others. This process starts from birth and it all begins with how you treat your child. When you get to the heart of it, manners are all about respect and respect is being aware of how you make other people feel. If you don’t show your child respect and consider their feelings, it’s highly unlikely that they will be able to show respect to you or to anyone else for that matter.
“Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter what fork you use.” – Emily Post
As with most aspects of parenting, consistency is the key, but so is age appropriateness. It’s no good expecting a two year old to have the table manners appropriate for an eight year old but you can structure your expectations depending on the developmental stage of your child. Bare in mind that if you force the issue, it may have the reverse of the desired effect and make manners a point of conflict, which won’t help at all.
Another way to make good manners a habit that sticks, is to praise good manners rather that pointing out all the occasions that manners have been forgotten. When correction is needed, remember to do it politely. Ranting and raving is the direct opposite of good manners and will only succeed in exhibiting the wrong way of dealing with people.
Remember the Golden Rule – ‘Do As You Would Be Done By’
In Matthew chapter seven and verse 12, the bible tells us that we should treat others in the way that we would like to be treated. Our manners say an awful lot about who we are and how much we value others. It’s difficult to say that we care about people who we don’t treat well or bother to be courteous too.