I find myself in the mom-sphere of life, and with that comes a whole new world of things that can leave one feeling very overwhelmed at times. You are bombarded with information on “How to mom, how to kid”. Some of these books, websites, blog posts can help at times, but it can cause you to doubt how you are doing things as a parent.
I remember I got to a stage, where I thought to myself; “ I will read, research what I need to, but I will define and use what is useful and necessary for the needs of my family”. It was so freeing and so liberating getting to that stage in those very early newborn days with my son.
Every child and family situation is unique. Therefore we need to adapt the rules of parenting to what will work for us, and most importantly what will work for our children. However, not everyone thinks like that, and they will insist that you know that too!
The confident mom
I belong to a couple of mommy groups on Facebook, and there are elements about it that I absolutely love. I find it encouraging, and helpful as women exchange tips, advice and celebrate those parenting moments with you. They are what I like to call the “pick me up, I’ve got your back moms”. They are confident in who they are, and encourage and celebrate mom milestone moments with you.
The mom bully
Then there are the other moms that like to burst your bubble, they feed off the negative, and pass judgment after judgment along with their opinions and criticism. You walk away from those online conversations feeling like the worst parent in the world, like an absolute failure.
I have encountered these moms, who have said things in passing without knowing or wanting to know the reasons behind the decisions I made with regards to the birth of my son, to eventually moving onto formula feeding. From the disapproving eyes, to the cold hearted remarks that leaves one feeling shocked, disheartened, to doubting yourself as a mom.
Topics that lure mom bullies :
C-section births.
The bully : “ That’s the easy way out!”
Reality : What if the mom had to have an emergency c-section?
Formula feeding.
The bully : “ If you gave up breast feeding, it’s because you didn’t try hard enough and persevere!”
Reality : What if her milk supply dried up?
Daycare for babies.
The bully : “ How could you put your baby’s health at risk like that!”
Reality : What if financially she had no choice but to go back to work?
I find that those topics bring about heated opinions. What I don’t understand is how some women feel entitled to bully other moms with the words that they speak. Especially when they don’t even know that moms situation as to why she chose the above topics?
Sometimes women can say things (especially moms) without thinking and can leave another mom feeling like a failure.
As moms, we need to listen to one another, encourage one another. It’s not easy being a mom, it’s hard work, and with this season of being a mom comes mom guilt. Therefore we need to have each other’s backs, and speak life, courage, and faith into the hearts of moms.
In the Bible it says in Proverbs 18:21 :
Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
There is power in the words that we speak over ourselves and over the lives of others. What words are we speaking over others and over ourselves? What words are we allowing to shape and influence the way we think and behave?
If you have had words spoken over your life and situation; that has left you feeling like a failure, or may have caused you to feel despondent, and doubt who you are, just know that there is a God who thinks the absolute world of you, who called you by name and created you with such love and detail – a God that called you for greatness!
Let God affirm who you are, by getting to know him more intimately. If you are not sure about how to go about doing this, allow me to encourage you to click on the pop-up or the banner below.