Dear new mom, or first time mom to be, gather a little closer and listen carefully at what I am about to say :
You’re still YOU, before you are a mom.
Remember that statement, repeat it if you need to, because when motherhood happens, you will soon realize that life moves at a different pace, and if you’re not careful you can lose a sense of who you are in being a mom.
THE REALITY
Before becoming a mom, you are a person full of passion, goals, dreams, and maybe you even have hobbies, and yes you love your husband and love having fun with him and with your friends! However, sometimes, and yes only sometimes, and by sometimes I mean 90% of the time. New moms forget this, they forget about all the facets that makes them, well them! The facets that need to be cherished, and taken care of.
Yes, it happens, the early days of mother hood are full on, you’re sleep deprived, you’re feeding your newborn every 2-3 hours, then changing diapers, then planning supper, and somehow remembering to shower and brush your teeth! We immediately start to move and operate on a whole new level of multitasking! You’ve even achieved Wonder Woman status!
But truth be told, when you’re all alone, sitting in bed just you and your thoughts. You soon realize in those quiet moments that you feel a bit down, you feel a bit empty, you feel a bit forgotten. In fact you can’t seem to remember who you are anymore. When you look at your reflection in the mirror, you see yourself vaguely, but you feel a bit estranged with the girl reflecting back at you. You can’t remember when last you just went out for coffee with a girlfriend, or went on a mini shopping spree, or had a relaxing massage. You may even feel guilty for feeling those things, or for wanting those things.
If we are not careful, and on guard, we start to neglect taking care of ourselves. We then start to entertain lies that waft into our minds ; “It’s very selfish to want to look after yourself and have me time”, “You can’t ask others to baby sit, it’s your child, you should look after your child!”, “You’re a mom now, you come second, or third or last!”
The funny thing is, we start to believe these lies. These lies start to steal our joy. That emptiness and sadness will seep into our parenting, from the way we pour out our love into others through what we say and through what we do. That’s why it is so important, if not valuable to look after ourselves and our well-being, as a happy mom brings more warmth into her home.
THE REFRESHED MOM’S HANDGUIDE
- TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
You heard me! You are a person first and foremost! It’s not a selfish thought! Take care of yourself and allow for moments that feed and refresh you! It may mean having a catch up with a friend, or spoiling yourself with a good book or having a spa day! It can be anything really, just as long as it feeds you, refreshes you, and if not inspires you! A happy mom that feels refuelled will parent with more joy and strength! - ASK GOD
If you feel like you may have gotten caught up in being a mom and have forgotten to feed the many others sides to yourself. Then may I encourage you to ask God to give you the wisdom, the inspiration, a fresh new perspective into who you are. Sometimes we forget who we are, as we are trying to wear so many hats and be everyone’s everything! Why not start today asking God to reveal to you the areas of your life that you may have neglected, then look at how you can make room to feed into those areas! - HIS STRENGTH
God wants you to enjoy all seasons of life, some seasons may be more enduring than others, but God wants you to walk through those seasons feeling empowered and graced by Him to do so! Being a mom should not steal your joy, and it certainly should not steal from your happiness and personal growth. I believe with God’s guidance, and love, we can find the balance between nurturing all the God given gifts, passions and dreams to being an amazing mom , wife and a friend. The great news is, is that we do not have to feel overwhelmed trying to do it all in our own strength.
I love how it says in the Bible:
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”
Philippians 4:13
What a relief! We can rest in God’s presence, we can RELY on him, we can also TRUST in Him to carry us as women! If this post spoke to you, or maybe you are wanting to know more about being in a relationship with God, may I encourage you to click on the link below. The best way to find ourselves, is through finding ourselves in Him!