I had this moment the other day whilst driving back home from dropping my son off at school where I thought to myself:
OUR CHILDREN ARE OUR BEST TEACHERS.
We as parents need to be mindful of teaching our children how to behave appropriately, how to approach life, to know right from wrong, to pursue their dreams and grow their talents. Therefore we as the parents are constantly growing, and we are most certainly learning new things about ourselves through the parenting of our children. The things we learn from our children, we can apply to all the other areas of our lives.
THINGS WE CAN LEARN FROM OUR CHILDREN
I know for me I have learnt the following through raising my son:
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE – I loved my son before he was born, I knew I loved him the moment I saw his heart beat for the first time on the screen in the doctor’s office! What I am learning everyday with my son, is that my love for him continues to grow, it never ceases! I love him when he is sick, when he is sad, when he has pushed my buttons too far, when he does something new, when does something funny, when he feels scared, when he is hurt! I love all of him, not parts of him, ALL of him! Therefore I can’t be selfish with my love for him, I give him my best, and I love him in the best way possible!
PATIENCE – Being patient is not always easy, especially when you have a strong-willed toddler that is trying to establish their independence where ever they go! I normally struggle in the area of being patient, so this has been an area that I have to keep working on. I have to remind myself to slow down, to take deep breaths and just wait certain things out. If that means repeating myself a million times, then I will learn to love it and embrace it!
BE PRESENT – These days life moves at such a rapid pace, we live in a very fast paced tech age! Therefore we can easily be distracted with being online, to thinking of all the to do lists that keep on growing, that we end up living in tomorrow’s thoughts, and miss out on moments that are happening all around us! My son has taught me to slow down, to get on the floor with him and to build Lego, he has taught me to rest in the moments with him, to laugh at silly things, he has taught me to let go of tomorrow and to be with him in the throws of today!
CONFIDENCE – From the moment I fell pregnant, I felt a stir in my heart that it was time to work on my confidence! I knew that I wanted to be a mom that felt empowered, and did not feel guilty or unsure when it came to making decisions that felt right for my son! I also knew that my son would grow up understanding confidence through us, his parents. I did not want him to grow up doubting himself, or doubting if he should pursue the dreams in his heart. I want him to be fearless, to be confident, to step into the unknown with passion and expectancy. Therefore this is an area I am intentional about, I make decisions and do things that grow and challenge my confidence, it is not always easy to commit to, but I know it will have long-term lasting value for not only me, but for my son!
BEING ADAPTABLE – With parenting you soon realize that what may work for one child, may not necessarily work for another child. What works one day with your child, may not work the next day for them or for you! You may have a month of rocking the parenting game, to another month where everything seems to be going backwards! Your children may have a month of excellent sleep, to another month of waking up during the night! There are so many unexpected moments that take you off guard as a parent, things that are out of your control for the most part. Therefore we need to be adaptable to moving and flowing in a way that will suit the current situation.
COMMITTING EVEN WHEN I DON’T FEEL LIKE IT – When you become a parent, you commit to the good times and the bad times! You commit to every little area of your little person’s life! You may feel tired, completely overwhelmed, to feeling drained, however although you feel those things it does not mean you will stop caring for them. You will still bath them, feed them, read to them, do homework with them, take them outdoors. You somehow just keep on keeping on, and push through even when you don’t necessarily feel like it.
SAYING SORRY, FORGIVING QUICKLY – There are moments in parenting where your children will push your limits, and defy you as a means of pushing and seeing how far those boundaries go! They may push us so far that we end up losing our cool in front of them! We may even feel justified for responding this way, however what is it teaching them long-term? Yes we must teach them how to behave, but not at the expense of losing our cool completely and not walking them through the motions calmly. When I lose my cool with my son, I make sure that I calm myself down , then I approach him , hold him, I apologize to him and give him a big hug! What is amazing, is that he will always respond with a big hug, he forgives quickly, because his love for me is so relentless! When my son does something that he shouldn’t, he knows to say sorry, because he feels remorseful! We forgive him immediately, without hesitation, because we know that he knew what he did was wrong, and we do not need to hold it over him.
EVERY DAY IS A NEW DAY – Some days I feel like disappearing into the dark abyss with a big cup of coffee! Some days feel like a triathlon, a never ending dark twisted triathlon. Maybe it’s because I am trying to balance work, to the juggling of family life; that I end up feeling moody, and a bit snappy, and make mistakes because of my bad attitude. I have gotten into a habit of reminding myself when I encounter those days, that tomorrow does not have to be a repeat, tomorrow will bring with it new blessings , tomorrow is day filled with new hope and new possibilities!
SEEKING GOD – In this season of parenting, there are days where we will feel powerless, helpless and a bit lost, which is very normal! I know for me, when I have those moments it has become such a comfort knowing I turn to God whenever I feel like that! He gives me the grace that I need, the patience, the understanding , the wisdom, and he refreshes me to keep on keeping on! Knowing that I can do this amazing season with God at my side, and at the centre of it all encourages me to keep my head held high!
A LOVE LIKE NO OTHER
I love knowing that as a mom, I am constantly growing and I am learning new things about myself and about my character through my relationship with my son! I feel almost as if in this season of parenting, my character is being refined, which in turn impacts and influences the way I approach life and those around me!
What amazes me even more is knowing that God, our father loves us relentlessly. He loves us in a way that forgives quickly, in a way that keeps no records of our wrongs! He loves us unconditionally, not because of the things we have done or are currently doing, he just loves us for who we are! What I love knowing is that no matter how many times I may mess up, and pull away from Him, he constantly draws me back in and we pick up from where we left off! Because of His reckless pursuit of me, I can’t help but feel loved, I can’t help but run towards Him.
In this season of parenting we need to draw on God like never before. We need His wisdom, we need His grace, we need to know and understand His unconditional love, so that we can pour those things into our children. Your best parenting days lay before you, why not start today by deciding that you will pursue a relationship with Him. If you would like to know more, may I encourage you to click on the link below.