After a while you must let go of what lies behind you and press forward. If you don’t , the past will destroy your future.
Joyce Meyer
That’s a very hard truth to swallow, but a very profound and powerful truth indeed. Our past, our hurt, and our disappointments have the power to shape the future that we walk into. If we aren’t conscious of dealing with our hurt, we will continue to repeat negative behaviour that comes out of a place of hurt.
PRACTICAL STEPS ON DEALING WITH HURT
Just a little disclaimer: the following list isn’t a quick overnight fix sort of thing. Rather, it’s a guideline on encouraging positive measures that we can be aware of following daily until we see breakthrough from our pain.
1. ACKNOWLEDGE
Many people choose to ignore the pain and the hurt that they hold onto. Maybe because they don’t want to deal with their pain, or maybe they have become too familiar with the pain. When we choose to openly see and acknowledge the hurt that we carry with us, we will become more aware and open to working on those vulnerable areas. Acknowledging it means choosing to see, identify, and recognise that it’s there.
2. CHOOSE TO FORGIVE
Choosing to forgive is one of the first steps to moving towards healing. Forgiveness may not excuse the behaviour of those that hurt us, but it prevents their behaviour from destroying out hearts.
Forgiveness is not a feeling; it is a commitment. It is a choice to show mercy, not to hold the offence up against the offender. Forgiveness is an expression of love.
Gary Chapman
3. STOP TALKING ABOUT IT
If you want to get over a problem, stop talking about it. Your mind affects your mouth and your mouth affects your mind. It’s difficult to stop talking about the situation until you stop thinking about it.
Joyce Meyer
4. BE INTENTIONAL
Some things may be easier to forgive, whilst other things may require us to constantly work on forgiving. It may require us to be intentional everyday about how we choose to forgive and move forward. Every intentional step will ultimately lead to an overcoming spirit!
5. SPEAK LIFE
Speaking negatively about our situation and circumstances has the power to contain and control us. Therefore, if we are committed to speaking life and courage over our lives, we will change the way we see things, and will positively influence how we go about the day-to-day.
Words can inspire. And words can destroy. Choose your words well.
6. SURRENDER
I went through a season in my life where I was holding on to a lot of hurt and disappointment within my heart. I was a horrible mess, because I kept making daily decisions based on hurt. As the saying goes: “Hurting people hurt people”. I was stuck in a cycle – one that I wanted to stop, but I did not know how to. As I grew in my relationship with God, I began to understand that God’s plans for me entailed living a life full of goodness, and one that was filled with hope. I knew in my heart that I needed to heal emotionally of past hurt, and I knew I had to be intentional about it. I also knew that I could not do it in my own strength.
I remember one afternoon, I was sitting on my couch, and I whispered to God: “God help me, and give me the strength to heal!” In that moment, I felt very exposed and I felt very vulnerable, yet I felt this peace and this reassurance start to flood my heart. I knew in that moment that everything would be okay, because I was safe in the hands of God. Moving forward entailed the conscious decision of surrendering all hurt into His hands. With time, he started piecing my broken heart back together again.
Friend, if you are carrying a broken heart, may I encourage you to seek God in your brokenness. Your hurt does not need to define and negatively influence the way you live your life. If this post spoke to you, then may I encourage you to click on the link below.