America Vice President Mike Pence has recently caused something of a stir over his commitment to never have a meal alone with any woman who isn’t his wife. Some have applauded his stance as honourable and the proper way to cherish his marriage, while others believe his actions are keeping women out of positions of power. Regardless of what anyone thinks of the method, at the centre of this debate you have a man who believes his marriage is worth protecting.
It’s common practice to protect the things that we consider valuable. Many people take out insurance on their most costly possessions. We keep things in safes, deposit money in the bank and lock our homes and cars to keep others out. When it comes to our relationships at times we take a much more relaxed, maybe ever careless, approach. Considering the value and benefits of a strong marriage, doesn’t it make sense to be intentional about protecting that relationship rather than hoping you’ll live happily ever after?
Here are a few ways to protect your marriage and keep your relationship strong:
Expect challenges
It may seem odd but realising that even the strongest relationships experience tough times, and that you will have your fair share of challenges, means that you are less likely to take your marriage for granted. Being aware that there are going to be season when you will need to be more intentional and more proactive about investing in your marriage means you’re less likely to be taken by surprise when difficult periods happen.
Make it a priority
There are many demands on our time on a daily basis. Work, hobbies, friendships, our dreams, even our children and while these all need attention don’t allow your marriage to always be at the bottom of the pack. Make sure your relationship with your spouse gets as much (if not more) of your focus. No one likes to always come in second place and your spouse deserves to be your number one priority.
Be each others ‘go to’ person
We all have things that we feel the need to share with others. Frustrations, fears, secrets and desires – but these things all tend to be very personal and close to our heart. Discussing these topics with someone creates an intimacy and closeness that, if that someone isn’t your spouse, can create problems for your marriage. Being able to share your heart with your husband or wife is a big part of building a strong and healthy relationship. So if you need a ‘go to’ person for your private emotions, make that person your spouse.
Remember how it all began
As time passes and responsibilities grow, it can be easy to forget all the wonderful things that brought you and your spouse together in the first place. Take time to remember and celebrate the things that you loved about each other when you first fell in love. Keep a focus on the qualities that attracted you to each other before anything else go in the way.
Give 100%
Couples often go into marriage believing that it’s a 50/50 relationship. Basically, if you both give your 50% everything will be okay. Unfortunatley, marriage isn’t about meeting each other half way. There are times that if you’re waiting for your spouse to do ‘their bit’ you will be waiting for a long time and probably getting bitter and angry in the process. A strong marriage partnership is where two people give 100% to their relationship, not keeping score or demanding payback but giving freely and unconditionally. No relationship can ever be healthy and strong if the people involved are holding something back.
Being married and building a strong relationship isn’t always rainbows and daisies. It takes time and requires work on occasions. However the benefits of honouring the commitment you made to your spouse and placing value on your marriage is worth the effort. God designed marriage to be a mutually beneficial partnership and the Bible tells us that what God has brought together no man can tear apart. If you are experiencing difficulties in your relationship, try placing it in the hands of the one who designed it.
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