Secrets – they can be very destructive things. Not only to the people from which you hide them but more importantly to your own soul. I have learned this lesson personally and it sucks when all of your secrets are brought out into the light. People that trusted you, or believed that you were something you were not, get the shock of their lives when they realise that you have been hiding things and you, as the keeper of those secrets, are left feeling guilty and ashamed. The embarrassment is almost enough to keep you locked away in your closet forever.
The thing about secrets is this – they will always come out eventually into the light. You may be able to hide them for a few days, weeks, months or even years but eventually they will be brought into the open. The longer the time period, the worse the shock. God actually warns us about this in the Bible:
“For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.” – Luke 8:17
The other problem that secrets create is a sense of guilt. Sometimes it can even be a subconscious guilt. This guilt can cost you a lot in terms of happiness and contentment in your daily life. The fact that you are carrying the weight of all your lies around with you every day, pretending to be something that you are not weighs heavily on your heart and on your mind, and with that sort of pressure you are bound to begin to feel affected in negative ways.
I’ve noticed that people who carry this type of guilt often lose their happiness. Now, I’m not taking about the fake happiness they portray in front of others but rather the happiness that they should be feeling on a daily basis; happiness within their family, with their blessings and with their life in general. I’ve also noticed that the guilt can begin to affect your relationship with friends and in fact anyone who is outside of the circle of lies and deceit. You never get close to anyone because of that guilt; knowing you are actually covering up what you truly are keeps you from making real honest connections.
The final thing I noticed was that because of the secret life you are living, you also begin to grow further apart from God. You may not be religious and that’s fine, but if you are attending church and living a double life, eventually that double life will win out and you will find yourself pulling further and further away from all the church events, the friends you’ve made and even worse, from God Himself.
There is a reason why that happens:
“Everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come into the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.” – John 3:20
We can no longer pretend that it is alright to walk around hiding what is really going on in our lives, myself included. It just doesn’t work and it will never work. You will constantly be under extreme pressure and that pressure is a direct result of your guilt.
The amazing thing is that God always bring things into the light and by Him doing so He is actually giving you a chance to heal. This is because the moment all your secrets are revealed is that same moment your healing begins, embarrassing as it may be at the time, it’s actually the greatest blessing. The weighty pressure of all those secrets is lifted. You are free. The moment you give up and let go is the moment God can release you from your prison of guilt, fear and shame and that freedom is great.
Just also remember that there will be loved ones and beloved friends who will most probably be left feeling hurt and betrayed by your lies. Be ready to accept that they are hurt and try to make amends.
Inevitably you will also have the judgmental people jumping on the gossip wagon to talk about the scandals behind your back and so on. Please forget about these kinds of people because focusing on them will not help get you out of the slump but possibly cause you to sink deeper down.
Remember, God still loves you and, if you repent, He is faithful to forgive you. Instantly you will have God’s forgiveness. People on the other hand may have a harder time understanding and forgiving but they will have to answer for that themselves. God is very specific when it comes to what He thinks of people, who are sinners by nature, judging other people.
The Bible tells us:
“You may think you can condemn such people, but you are just as bad, and you have no excuse! When you say they are wicked and should be punished, you are condemning yourself, for you who judge others do these very same things. And we know that God, in His justice, will punish anyone who does such things. Since you judge others for doing these things, why do you think you can avoid God’s judgment when you do the same things?” – Romans 2:1-3
I hope this has helped someone out there today. I have experienced this and it’s not great but at the end of the day, a clean conscience creates an opportunity for a clean slate.
If this spoke to you today, I really encourage you to click the pop-up or link below.