“No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.”
I’m pretty sure the poet, a man by the name of John Donne, was a very intelligent individual for his time. It’s not really hard to see that from the four lines of poetry quoted above; and if you take the time to read up about him, it’s interesting to see how he has grown out of poverty to become a member of parliament as well as the Dean of St Paul’s Cathedral.
He’s right, of course, nobody could really lock themselves away from civilization and expect to prosper. But I have to admit, I’m not so sure that I’m comfortable with the idea of sharing my island with people.
Just think about all the amazing photographs you’ve ever seen of small secluded islands; think of all the secret wishes you’ve sighed to the heavens when you see that beautiful idyllic piece of land far away from the idiots and lunatics you have to share your space with.
Some time ago I realized exactly how easy it was for me to become a hermit. Let’s face it, it’s much easier to convince yourself to stay at home with a good book, a good movie or great music than it is to dress up and subject yourself to meeting new people and making small talk.
Or maybe it’s just me. Fine, I’ll admit it, whenever I’m invited to something my first instinct is always to make an excuse. I love being at home, by myself doing what I love. And it’s hard work to meet new people and try to find common ground for a conversation.
But I also realized that building walls around myself is not healthy at all. I tend to become quiet in conversation once I’ve been in seclusion for a while, which gives the impression that I’m not interested, and that’s rude. When you’re perceived as being rude, people generally start keeping you at arm’s length. At first you might think that is the perfect response, because you like being alone anyway, right?
Nope, in the end you’ll have pushed everyone away and what do you have left? Yourself. And we all know that our own conversation has the ability to get boring very soon.
That’s not all though. We need people in our life to grow, to bounce ideas off of, to build dreams with, to make plans with, and to conquer fears with. Our closest friends are the ones that pull us out of the emotional turmoil we might be stuck in, they’re the ones who shift our focus in the right direction.
I’m not saying you should fill your life with a thousand friends if that’s not your style. I’m saying that you should allow people in your life that build you up, make you laugh and kick your behind when you’re being stupid.
Those are the ones worth sharing your island with.
It isn’t easy. How do I know if someone is worth allowing in my life? Let me tell you what I do. My general rule of thumb is: If they know how to laugh at themselves and don’t take life too seriously, they’re definitely a candidate for my island. So find that one thing that’s the most important to you and make that the Backstage Pass to your island.
