It’s not you, it’s your cargo pants.
Listen up boys of the world: style matters. Not like world peace matters, but like hygiene. It’s one of those little things in life which makes a big difference. Seriously, your personal style can be the difference between being selected for a job or not. You personal style can win you the girl. And most importantly when you look good, you feel good.
Here are some style tips to turn your look from sloppy to sophisticated in just one shopping trip.
1. The free T-shirts
Here’s a pointer – if you got it for free it’s probably for a reason. That reason is probably the endless free marketing you provide every day you pull that old fave out of your wardrobe and put it on. Free T-shirts usually have ugly logos and come in ugly colours and cuts. Buy your shirts.
2. But(t) sir…
If you have a flat bottom, we get it, pants fall down. Please sir, buy a belt. And use it. Make sure your shirt is long enough. Bend in the change rooms so you can check. Nobody wants to see that, so make sure they don’t.
3. Socks with sandals
If you are that attached to your socks, wear closed shoes. Sandals are for summer. This combinations looks strange and very unprofessional. There is no social group in which this is cool. Even if you have Simpson socks and long toes and it feels like a good idea at the time – don’t do it.
4. Shoes past their expiry date
Guys, I know your old Reebok running shoes from 1998 are super comfy. But there comes a time when all good things must come to an end and this includes the beautiful bond you have with your old shoes. If they have cracks in the side and you’ve forgotten what colour you initially bought them as, it’s time to move on.
5. Clothes that don’t fit
You don’t look better in loose clothing, even if you are carrying a few extra kilograms. People look best in clothing which fits. Overly baggy clothes look unkept and messy. Too tight looks, well… awkward. Don’t buy for “one day when,” and don’t make rash clothing decisions – only buy if you are sure its a good one.
6. Wearing wife beaters (these are sleeveless vests FYI)
You are not CJ from GTA San Andreas, so cut the act cool cat. Even if you are very, very muscular and silently check out your biceps in every mirror you pass, this looks is not great. This is a prime example of less is less, not more.
7. Joke shirts
Wearing jokes on your shirt seems really funny and everything, but after the first laugh all you’re left with the ugly shirt. Here’s a hint: rather tell the jokes and buy a decent shirt. These shirts put you in the maturity bracket of 14-19. Don’t wear them and expect people to treat you as someone to be taken seriously.
8. Excessive hair product
Unless you are at a Grease dress up party, half a bottle of gel is not the requirement for your daily hair requirements. Pay attention to your hair and style it – yes. Creating a brick on your head… not so much.
9. Cargo shorts
I get it, there’s a pocket for everything, but I ask you this: when has someone ever used every pocket on their cargo shorts? Do you actually need that many pockets? Unless you are going on a camping trip and decide not to pack an actual bag but instead put all of your life essentials in your pockets, those cargos ain’t worth their space on the planet.
10. Smell good
Is this a style tip? It’s a grey area. Is a man who smells like sweat, dust, and pizza slices attractive – not a grey area. This is not attractive. Nor is half a bottle of axe. Get some decent deodorant, don’t over use it and maybe consider cologne for occasions like date night.
And there you have it. The very essentials. Don’t deviate. Don’t pass begin. Don’t get your style tips from 80s music videos and you should be good to go. Oh, and feel free to throw away your cargo shorts now.