Thank you. Two of the most powerful words you can utter. Just two of them – they should roll off the tongue easily; and yet sometimes “thank you” is the last thing we want to say.
The other day my Dad told me I looked cute at church (I visited them for the weekend). It was true, I certainly looked better than the day before when I had rolled off a plane in creased denim and make-up stains. Here is what I could have said to his kind comment, “Aw, thanks Dad.” Here is what I said: “Well, I did wash my hair today, so there’s that.”
Sarcasm alert: I won’t lie, things haven’t always been easy with me and my parents, but responses like that do not build relationships. I guess I have some things to learn about those two words and when to use them.
I can think of a number of occasions when we should say thanks, but we don’t:
When you receive a compliment
As you can tell from the paragraph above I’m not the best when it comes to compliments. I second guess them, thinking they aren’t genuine, or dismiss them when I could respond graciously. Hey, we have enough people bringing us down, why not accept it when someone is nice? Plus, when someone gives you a compliment they are being vulnerable and will feel shut down if you don’t respond nicely.
Example: “Girl, your dress looks fly.”
• Instead of: “Oh, this piece of junk? I’ve had it for years.”
• Try: “Thanks babe. I’m glad you like it.”
When you’re running late
Oh heck, this happens to us all. But we tend to put all the focus on us or on the thing we blame instead of acknowledging the person who has waited for us.
Example: You walk in the door 15 minutes late.
• Instead of: “I’m so sorry I’m late. Traffic was insane this morning.”
• Try: “Thanks for your patience.”
When you are getting feedback
It’s not easy hearing feedback because it may not always be nice. Feedback makes us better and it often takes a lot of time, effort and thought for someone to provide feedback. It’s far easier to agree with everything than to say to someone, “Hey, how about doing it this way.”
Example: “This work isn’t good enough. I thought you would do better.”
• Instead of: “You don’t understand. Here’s what happened.”
• Try: “Thank you for expecting more of me.”
Someone gives you advice
Again, I am a poor example of someone who receives advice well. If I don’t agree with you, more often than not I’ll be angry at your attempt at giving me advice or dismiss what you said. That’s not the best attitude for growth. All advice should be vetted, but often just a simple “Hey, I appreciate your advice” is needed.
Example: “You know, you should really keep your hips back when you squat.”
• Instead of: “Oh really? Do you have a video of yourself doing it so I can see it done correctly?”
• Try: “Okay, thanks for the suggestion.”
When you’re not sure if you should thank someone.
If in doubt, say thanks. We don’t say thanks enough and if the question is hovering in your mind, you should probably just go for it. “Should I send a thank you email in this situation?” Yes, yes, you should. “Should I call up my Gran and say thanks for the birthday card?” Yes!
Being grateful and gracious changes our attitude and impacts our situations and relationships in a positive manner. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
All circumstances… that’s tough! But if Jesus said it, then it’s where we should be going. If we realise we have a God in heaven who loves us with an everlasting love, how can we not say those two little words? Today Lord, I look to you and I say “thank you, thank you, thank you” for my life, friends and all you have done for me.