So yesterday i was sitting with a grade six guy helping him translate The Ugly Duckling into Afrikaans (as one does), when something hit me.
I looked across at A and asked him, “Do you like this story?” (he was reading it for the first time)
He said, “Yes” without really thinking.
I asked him, “Do you think it’s a nice story?”
He thought about it for just a short while and responded, “Actually, no!”
And you know what, he was right.
The Ugly Duckling is a horrible story.
Just like all those nice fun nursery rhymes we grew up singing that we discovered were all about children dying from the plague (you know, Ring a ring of roses and the rest), it’s a story we were told and we were mesmerised and what a happy ending and everyone lived happily ever after… but the problem with being taught things, and not how to critique things, is that all you are left with are the things.
For any of you who might have escaped hearing this diabolical tale, it is basically the story of a “duckling” who is actually a baby swan but somehow his egg gets mixed up among some duck eggs and so when he is born he is ugly and all the other ducks hate him and tease and bully him (’cause that’s what we do to ugly people, right?). Throughout the whole book he is just looking for love, friendship, and acceptance. And then one day he manages to survive till old age and looks at his reflection in the water and he has been transformed into a beautiful swan – and of course now everyone loves him and wants to be like him. What a piece of crapamole!
But really? What a horrible life lesson to teach kids. You are only acceptable when you look good. And we ate it up.
Because we were told stories, we weren’t taught to think
If you’re a parent reading this, then as a non parent (but one who grew up with parents, so that has to qualify me for some measure of understanding and wisdom; and one who has lived with a number of parents) this might be one of the most important lessons you can teach your children: to critique, to think, to question, to ask why until you get an answer that somewhat satisfies you (even if that answer is, “I don’t know!)
Teach your children to think
As adults, many of us need to grasp that one as well – and mostly perhaps those of us who weren’t taught it growing up.
We certainly weren’t taught it much in school – we were taught 1 + 1 = 2 and that the capital of Africa is Africa is not a country, Americans – that was a trick question. But we were taught facts, or at least the appearance of facts. When what we needed (especially growing up in apartheid South Africa) was to be taught to question: Why does it seem that white people are viewed as better than black people? Why are these beaches for only white people and those beaches only for black people? And so on.
As a follower of Jesus, this story is even more offensive to me.
Why? Because we believe that everyone is created in the image of God.
Which is why we are against abortion.
It’s why we are against euthenasia.
It’s why we are against murder.
It’s why we are anti war.
It’s why we are against looks based plastic surgery.
A fundamental belief of ours is that the image of God exists in every person (which is why if we are truly following Jesus we will never ever give up on someone – God has the power to transform the worst of people) and that when we dishonour that image in any way we dishonour God.
Does that mean we are born looking like God? Not at all. But it means that inside of us exists the seed, the image, the fingerprint of God, and that when we embrace that we start to become the God-like people we were created to be.
We grow up though in a world that has embraced the image of self. Which is why disgusting stories like The Ugly Duckling are able to be told and embraced, because it is the lie we have believed from birth: that this is all about me.
You are beautiful. Within you lies the image of God and the invitation to follow Jesus is the invitation to become all that you were meant to be.
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