Every day I am reminded of how human and fault-ridden I am. It doesn’t take long for me to find what is wrong with my life; whether it be in terms of behaviour, relationships, health, self-respect, confidence, moods, or language.
The fact is, having everything together is an ideal everyone strives for, but in that striving we normally mess up a whole other side of who we actually are. There is a very fine line between running a “tight ship” and being a control freak. Being sociable and friendly without being irresponsible with your time and finance is no small feat either. I have found that when I have made an effort to improve in some area, I am normally in danger of tripping up somewhere else. And I know I’m not alone. While everyone is trying their best to make things work, we are also watching each other – judging silently. Using the incomplete pictures of others’ lives as a yardstick for our own.
Then we add Christianity to this conundrum. Not only are you meant to be a good person, but also a “good Christian”. I honestly struggle with what this term means to the world… Christianity has become this standard that has been held over the heads of anyone who has been raised a certain way, or chooses to find hope in a relationship with God. And as much as knowing God intimately does mean life is a whole lot better, when the focus is just on the external “actions” of a Christian, the pressure is on to “perform” the impossible and be perfect. In this performance, the focus is taken off of God, and we crumble internally.
Fellow Christians can be the worst when it comes to judging. Being a Christian has nothing to do with tradition or a set of rules, but due to many misrepresentations over generations it has become in some instances a very controlled, critical, and merciless label.
The truth is all of us – yes, all of us – have a gap between how we live and how we are supposed to live. There will always be room for improvement, no matter how much you work on your soul. So what’s the solution? Do we just get rid of any godly standard so that we can stop feeling bad about ourselves? I can tell you that may be a temporary solution, but there is a way more permanent, freeing, victorious solution: grace.
Don’t throw this word away as something sung about in famous hymns, or something that you do around tables to impress the in-laws. This word is made for the gap between your efforts and God’s goodness. It is meant to give you more than you deserve every time. It is meant to be the foundation of everything we do as people made by God for a purpose. We could never earn our way into heaven. God is too good. We are too flawed. That is why grace is so important.
If you have found yourself stuck in the gap – judging yourself or being judged by others around you – you are not alone. All of us have work to do. Knowing God just means that we build our lives from a place of grace first. Grace doesn’t highlight the deficit, but pulls us further than we think we are capable of going. It is the most liberating, humbling way to live: not praising our own actions, but looking to God for help constantly. If you would like to know grace in your life, click on the link below.