Jack sat in front of the tall glass windows, looking down at the ticket in his hands. The words and numbers didn’t mean much to him, but he knew they were indicators of what was going to happen. He sighed as he awkwardly untangled himself from his hand luggage and leant back – watching the a380 slowly dock in front of him. There were hundreds of people milling around. The endless arpeggiations before the almost robotic announcements would have put anyone on edge, but to Jack his world was pensively quiet. Deaf to all that was happening around him, he could only think of one thing: Home.
Part of him wanted to get up and run away. Far away. No matter the consequences. The anticipation he had started out with seemed way more attractive than the return to some form of ‘normality’. Had the journey been all that he had hoped for? No. Had it been worth the money? Debatable. Had he learnt a whole lot about life? Definitely.
At the same time, Jack knew things would never be the same for him. The problem was that he had grown. His perspective, his understanding, his experience of life was too big for the gap he had left behind. The fear of not being able to fit back into a life that had changed less than he had made him dread the return.
At the same time, he knew he needed to belong. His town, his house and his friends were consequential, but Jack’s family was the only thing that he really missed. He did not know what his parents would say about the things he had done on his trip. If he was honest, he wasn’t sure if he would be welcomed back. But he had to return.
The journey would be rough. The rain had started about an hour ago and was set to get worse through the night. Jack didn’t mind flying that much, but the idea of being cramped up next to two strangers for the next few hours (while the plane reeled and shuddered through the clouds) was enough of a deterrent when combined with all his doubt about home.
But home was inevitable. No matter how upsetting or daunting. No matter how hard the journey would be. He needed to return. He had left to find himself. And he had learnt a whole lot about who he was. But none of that mattered if he had no context. He was like a king without its chessboard. He wasn’t relevant and he had no meaning without having a place to put down his roots – a context to apply himself to.
The world was large. Travelling was enriching. But everywhere he went, Jack saw people building a life for themselves. They were enriching and establishing their own societies – from the farmers in Kenya to the NY business moguls – everyone had traction. As much as he was moving from place to place, he knew he was not moving forward.
He vaguely heard the call to start boarding. Looking down at his ticket again, Jack took a few deep breaths. He felt the weight of purpose. He knew things were going to be different. More permanent. More consistent. Harder work. But hopefully more meaningful and directional as well. After the suits and the families had passed, Jack jumped up quickly and grabbed his bag. Walking straight to the desk, he handed in his ticket and passport in before he could change his mind. The hostess smiled and handed back the ticket stub. It had happened. One quick interaction. There was no turning back now. Whatever happened next – whether good or bad – was now waiting for him. A hint of anticipation began to infiltrate his dread. With the adrenaline pumping and his heart full, he walked down the tunnel. Jack was going home.
The Bible is very clear that this world is not our home. Whether you read about the prodigal son, or Israel’s great Exodus, it is also clear that God wants his people to find home. But home is not a place. It is not an environment. It is a person. Everyone is on a journey – either away from, or towards this person. The sense of returning can be daunting, though. You can completely dread it. If you feel like you’re moving around, but not moving forwards. If you have ‘run away’ from God and feel too guilty to return. If you don’t want to be put in a box and feel constricted by religion – please know that I understand. But home is Jesus. And he is forgiving. He believes in freedom, not manipulation and he is the only place I ever want to be in this life or after. It is in relationship that you will find home. If you want to get to know him, click on the link below.