A side chick is typically defined as the other woman; also known as a female that is not a male’s girlfriend, who has a friendship with the male while he is in another relationship. The term ‘side chick’ is loosely and humorously thrown around amongst friends and even in our families. In fact, some ‘Side chicks’ have even grown proud of their title and can be heard saying things like, “I’d rather be a side chick then be stuck in a relationship” or “As long as she doesn’t know about me and I don’t have to hear about her” and of course, “It’s the best of both worlds, I am single when I want to be”.
All of this really makes for compelling arguments except that being a side chick does not really mean you’re single. You are in a relationship, ‘in a relationship’. It may be a temporary agreement, but it is still an agreement between three people. You are in a relationship. One that God is not pleased with and this is why:
1. It was never God’s plan for you to be one!
The bible may not provide direct instruction on dating, but it does speak about courtship. A man of God should not be putting you in this situation and you should not be accepting it as the order for your life.
2. Being a side chick resurrects the ‘old self’.
It is said that the greatest benefit of being a side chick is that there are no expectations. Wrong. The flesh is fueled by expectations, lust, pleasure, gratification are all characteristic of your flesh.
3. There are three victims in this cycle
You may be a victim, but he is too and so is she. Hurt people are likely to hurt other people. It may not happen simultaneously, but this won’t end well.
4. It opens the door for demonic spirits.
Ask yourself how does being a side chick add to you maturing into a wife? Does it complement what God is raising up inside of you? Making this choice in your life could have really bad implications for the ‘future you’. A low self-esteem, torn character and a negative self-image.
5. You become guilt ridden.
Especially in those moments where you find yourself alone, without ‘him’. This guilt comes from being the object of sin against another woman. Often, the guilt you experienced feels like a one-way street. A burden that was never part of God’s plan for you.
6. Being a side chick has an expiration date.
This has to be the most frightening and saddest part of it all. The entire ‘agreement’ could end as abruptly as it started. You were secretly in a relationship in the beginning and now you are strangers.
It’s not worth the while. It’s not worth delaying your God ordained purpose. If you are single in this season ask God what it is He wants you to learn. I have learned so much about myself, in my quest for God’s best.