In my early twenties I had anxious thoughts towards marriage. It stemmed from the fear of having a failed marriage. This was due to the notion of not really seeing many marriages succeed. I used to think that either you would have a “perfect marriage” or a marriage that was destined to fail.
To be honest, I feared the thought of having an imperfect marriage, and I most definitely feared having a failed marriage. It may sound a bit dramatic, but it was a real fear for me. So much so, that whenever my husband and I would have a conflicting moment, I would get defensive and I would emotionally overreact to things purely because I feared losing my husband. I used to fear the very thought of him walking out on our marriage.
Have you ever had fearful thoughts like that – thoughts that cause you to feel anxious within your marriage?
THE TRUTH ABOUT MARRIAGE
There have been a few little gems that have encouraged me over the years, and they have added strength to our marriage:
1 . Marriage is not perfect
Marriage, and people within a marriage, are not perfect. Which means unexpected things will happen – things that will sometimes be out of our control. And that’s okay! All it means is that we need to relook at things, and readjust how we go about doing things, and keep on looking forward to the future together as a couple.
2 . Anxiety controls, and it consumes
Fearful thoughts creep in from time to time. However, they should not control and consume our every move. Anxious thoughts can cause us to live in a very fearful way. It may even cause us to emotionally overreact towards our partners. Sometimes we need to look at the root causes of our anxious thoughts, and then look at ways of overcoming them so that it won’t have a negative impact on our lives or marriage.
In the Bible it says:
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity,
but one of power, love and of sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7
3 . Marriage is a blessing and a gift
What I do know after all these years of being married to my husband, is that marriage is a blessing, and it’s a gift. When we lose sight of the significance that a marriage holds, we become distracted and forget to place value and worth on each other, which then causes resentment and distance within a marriage. However, when we treasure one another, and look at ways of constantly showing love towards our partners, we place value on our partners. This in turn strengthens your marriage, your friendship, and it makes your partner’s heart come alive!
4 . We can’t do it alone
We go through seasons as individuals, and so do our marriages. Some seasons may seem light, full of fun, laughter, and blessings upon blessings. Other seasons may feel a bit more enduring, and yet you need to carry it together as a couple. It may feel tiresome, and frustrating at times, and we may even feel disappointed if our partners fail to carry the load with us or for us. However, we are all human, and our strength can only go so far. So when things get a bit tough, we can turn to God and ask Him for help. It’s that simple!
Sometimes, we can complicate the whole “let’s get God involved” in our marriage. And sometimes we forget to go to Him and we feel alone and overwhelmed and uncertain of where to turn! However, He is right there wherever we are – all we need to do is speak to Him.
Friend, if you feel tired of feeling anxious, or fearful within your marriage, or if you need a marriage facelift, then why not ask God to breathe fresh life over your marriage today? He is so ready to respond, and trust me, He wants you to have a marriage that is a blessing to the both of you!