Spending a lot of time together does not necessarily result in a healthy relationship. That’s the conclusion a close friend and I recently came to following a discussion.
I know what you think: Relationships thrive on quality time – but we discovered another main ingredient which is essential if you want your good relationship to become great.
It’s a simple concept, really. You can spend a lot of time together, without actually having a meaningful connection to someone. For this reason, time together does not necessarily result in a good relationship – but transparency does. It was a light bulb moment to me. You can spend all the time you want with someone but if you are not open or honest, the relationship will always be surface level. I’m not saying you should be open about everything to everyone, but with every friendship, there comes a degree of openness.
Even in scenarios where you can’t be completely open about everything, a degree of transparency is needed. For example, when leading someone, you cannot always be totally transparent. Yet, good leaders lead by relationship – which means you need to be as transparent as the situation or person needs.
When trying to build friendships, it’s always good to be as transparent as possible. I have some friends, for instance, that I hardly ever see – but we’re close, because we are open and honest with each other.
Relationship is not about time – it’s about transparency.