“Stay in your lane. Simple.” So said a tweet that I read yesterday. If only it were that simple.
Each person walks in their own glory – a set of giftings and characteristics that makes them unique to anyone else on the planet! It is my view that that is dormant inside all of us until we start to connect with our Creator and with God-given community. For all of us, there is a fight to stay unique as we are bombarded by thousands of voices constantly telling us to bury the person God made us to be. On the other hand, there is also a fight not to give in to being totally self-consumed, staying in our lane, and kicking community out the door too.
I’ve always been envious of my younger sister’s ability to come right out and ask for anything she needs – she’s been like this since a child. My instinct is to wait patiently for what I don’t have or work for what I can’t afford. I’ve always felt the need to prove my worth; prove that I deserve what I want or need, and to prove that I can do all of that alone. Perhaps it is because of the attitude of ungrace that I have towards myself.
In his book Shame and Grace, Lewis Smedes, professor in psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary, draws the connections between shame and grace:
“Guilt was not my problem as I felt it. What I felt most was a glob of unworthiness that I could not tie down to any concrete sins I was guilty of. What I needed more than a pardon was a sense that God accepted me, owned me, held me, affirmed me, and would never let go of me even if he was not much impressed with what he had on his hands.
Phillip Yancey, author of What’s So Amazing About Grace?, relates that Smedes identifies three common sources of crippling shame: secular culture, graceless religion and unaccepting parents. While secular culture tells us that we must always look good, feel good, and make good, it is graceless religion that tells us that we must follow a bunch of rules, and that the failure to do so will bring eternal damnation. Unaccepting parents – “Aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” – tell us that we will never meet their approval. “Like city dwellers,” says Yancey, “who no longer notice the polluted air, we breathe in the atmosphere of ungrace unawares… Every institution, it seems, runs on ungrace, and its insistence that we earn our way.”
Over the past few years, I must admit, it has been an area of concerted effort for growth, especially in my relationship with Jesus as Abba (Father) – wanting to provide everything that I need, or telling me that it has all been provided already. I thought that I was improving in my understanding of this, when I had quite a funny experience that taught me a whole lot.
Forgive me, because the following story is as real as it gets…
Recently, I invited a friend of mine to do a gig with me. It was that person and myself. Us, doing a gig together; no one else – except whomever we included in our normal setups… Anyway, the night of the gig came upon us and after I had had my sound check she pitched up with a gang of people who she had invited to take part in her set. There was some previously unresolved animosity between us and this development was slightly upsetting to me. In my insecurity, I assumed she was insecure and that she was trying to upstage me (Dear God! Thank you for grace and forgiveness)…
During her set I was so challenged by God! She was greater (in her own right) for her willingness to include people in her journey! She shone more when she allowed other people to shine alongside her! And, though I’ve always known this, this particular truth became real for me at that moment, in that circumstance.
For my next gig, I decided to include people – a lot of them, and it was amazing how much magic there was because of it. I obviously had to first get over my pride and fear of asking others to help me; I also had to get over the fact that I thought that I wasn’t good enough for people to want to help me or partner with me.
As with everything, there is always a test after a truth is learned – and mine came quickly! I was given an opportunity for exposure of my personal talent. I asked the organiser if I could bring a certain amount of people and the first thing that the person said was, “Are you sure you want to do that? This is about you, not anyone else. You must shine!” I replied that I was pretty certain that although I shine alone, my shine was greater because of others.
You and I can never be upstaged. Our shine cannot be tarnished! But the devil wants us to think so because it aids his plan of isolation! Jesus however, calls us to team! He was the greatest man who ever lived, with a team of 12 that impacted the world.
Today, 1 Corinthians 12 (verses 18-20) means more to me than ever before:
“This is where God comes in. God has meticulously put his body together; he placed each part in the exact place to perform the exact function he wanted. If all members were a single part, where would the body be? So now, many members function within one body.”
I accepted Jesus as Lord of my life a very long time ago, but I am still a work in progress and am learning to accept the grace of others towards me, as well as the grace of Father God towards me.
No matter what your reason is for not accepting help from people in any particular area of your life, Jesus can fix that! Yes, you can accept his help! You can accept help from the team that is the Trinity, because Together Everyone Achieves More. Learn more about this by clicking on the banner below!
“You see, when God gives a grace gift and issues a call to people, He does not change his mind and take it back.” Romans 11:29 (The Voice)