Often I find that we easily confuse venting and gossip when we are amongst a group of friends or coworkers. This could happen by innocently off loading or “venting” to somebody else, which then in turn escalates into one big gossip session. I think it’s one thing to off load your frustrations without going into too much detail regarding a situation, but it’s another thing to speak poorly of somebody behind their back, as a means of feeling better about yourself.
Sometimes the conversation could start off with: “I am feeling so frustrated because work deadlines are piling up.” Then it may turn into: “It’s because our boss doesn’t care about us, or probably because he has no social life, or wants us to do all of his dirty work.”
You see it may have started off innocently, but then it started to get nasty and ugly, bashing the character of somebody else. I can guarantee that those hurtful remarks would never in a million years be said to that person (be it the boss or whoever) directly. It’s malicious talk that we keep amongst friends or coworkers and would never utter directly to that person.
Why?
It is hurtful, it is uncalled for, and yes probably it is all overly exaggerated and emotionally charged. There is a very fine line when it comes to venting verse gossiping, and the two can easily merge into one.
Building up or breaking down?
Venting about something tries to seek a solution to the problem. Whereas gossiping merely breaks and bashes somebody else down, it may make you feel good for a moment, but it never leads to any sort of resolution.
Sometimes people will reach out for advice on something, and sometimes they end up unleashing all of their problems and concerns. Which is fine, I do not mind helping and encouraging others, however, I am very wary if a conversation becomes gossip. I never want to entertain gossip in my life, as I feel like it becomes a poison that sits in the spirit of who you are.
Gossiping speaks more of your character
Gossip always has a way of coming to the surface, where people get hurt by what was said behind their backs. I have been on the receiving end of gossip, where I was deeply hurt by what was said about me from supposed “good friends”. I’ve also been guilty of gossiping myself. Nothing good comes from gossip. I find that when I divert a conversation when it becomes gossip it leaves me feeling good, as I feel like I am protecting the character of somebody else who is not there to defend themselves.
Our words have the power of life and death, therefore what we speak about others could bring life or death over who they are. Regardless, of how somebody else may upset you, if you can’t say anything nice about them or find the good in them, rather do not saying anything at all. If it’s really burdening you, then maybe find ways in which you can openly discuss your issues and concerns with the person who is upsetting you.
At the end of the day gossip will always speak of your character (loudly and clearly) more than it does about to the person who you are speaking of. Use your words wisely.