I’ve never really thought about what it takes to be a man. Being a woman, it really wasn’t something I ever considered. Then I had a son. Now I feel the responsibility of raising him in such a way that the precious little boy I tuck into bed each night will one day become, hopefully, not just ‘a man’ but a great man.

Boys will be boys

There seem to be many different ideas floating around as to how men should or do act. Should guys be macho and participate in shows of strength? Does being a man mean engaging in ‘locker room chat’ or following the ‘boys will be boys’ mantra? Should they be in touch with their feelings and easily show emotion? I think if these are the standards by which we judge manhood then we are maybe missing it.  The bible tells us that man judges by the outward appearance but God judges by the condition of the heart.

What if?

In 1909 author Rudyard Kipling wrote a poem for his son Jack. In it he listed character traits and behaviour that he felt epitomised the behaviour of a man.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Greatness

The making of a great man doesn’t lie in his likes or dislikes. It’s not found in how he dresses or presents himself. It’s a matter of character. Greatness is displayed in how he treats people. Is he respectful? Not just to those in authority but to everyone regardless of their station or standing. Does he know how to be generous? Giving of himself, his time and his resources to those in need of it. Is he considerate? Thinking of other people and not only being consumed with him self. Does he stand up for what is right and hold firm to what he believes in? It takes courage to make a stand when others oppose you but it speaks of strength and integrity.

The world needs more great men, especially those who will honour God and live in such a way that they will leave this planet a better place than they found it.