A few years ago I found myself in a situation where a “close friend” sent a message to my phone that was meant for another friend, and it was about me! Talk about a rude awakening! She then immediately replied apologizing, but then she turned it around on me saying “Yeah, but it’s true, now you know!” I was shocked if not devastated, as I felt like I was taken off guard, and it felt so undeserved! I knew in order for me to move forward I had to deal with it in the right way, in a loving way. As I did not want this incident to define or change the way I perceive friendships to be.
It is never easy trusting others, especially when a “friend” has stabbed you in the back. Sometimes the shock of their betrayal leaves you feeling devastated, and confused about why they would do such a thing to you. The truth of the matter is that somewhere along the line we will experience hurt and disappointment, therefore we need to know how to overcome it so that the pain does not hold us back from moving forward.
Therefore we need to remember:
CHOOSE TO FORGIVE
At the end of the day, people are still people and they will make mistakes whether intentional or not. Sometimes based on their insecurities, or their belief systems. A so-called “friend” may hurt you because they never truly had your best interests at heart, or maybe they were jealous of you, or deeply insecure around you, or maybe they weren’t a real friend to you to begin with.
We have a choice to either forgive, and move forward or we can hold onto it and let it build resentment and harden our hearts. When we choose to forgive those that hurt us it not only sets us free, but it releases us from the pain and from the person who hurt us.
“Forgiveness does not excuse their behaviour. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart.”
THEIR BETRAYAL SHOULD NOT DEFINE YOU
If someone has hurt you, please know that their betrayal should not stop you from trusting others. Just because one person chose to hurt you, it does not mean that everyone is out to get you and do the same to you. I remember there was a season in my life, where I had been hurt by someone close to me. I chose not to forgive them, I held onto my pain so tightly that I then became cold, cynical and sometimes just plain rude. I used my pain as a means of justifying bad behaviour, which in turn hurt many others around me! Never let pain become familiar in your heart. Be brave enough to let the pain go and move on from it in a healthy way. In doing so, this will encourage us to keep our hearts soft and open to making and trusting new friends.
USE WISDOM WHEN CHOOSING FRIENDS
You have choice as to who you let in to your personal world. Protect your heart by choosing the right kinds of friends that will look after your heart! Also observe the character of the person you are friends with, note how they behave and how they speak of others when those people aren’t around. Do they speak lovingly of others, or do they break others down with their words? If they speak badly of others when they are not around, chances are that they are talking bad about you when you aren’t around.
Use wisdom when choosing friends that will ultimately play a role in shaping and influencing your world!
TURN THE OTHER CHEEK
In the bible Jesus was the perfect illustration of ultimate forgiveness! Many turned against him, and spoke badly of him and his character. Yet time and time again, he chose forgiveness, he chose love, and he constantly embraced everyone. WHY? Because he chose to love all of us perfectly, with unconditional love.
If you would like to experience this kind of unconditional perfect love that will never disappoint you, then may I encourage you to click on the link below.