For reals, the mind is a battlefield. I don’t know if it’s normal, but recently I have been thinking a lot about what I’m thinking about… Thought-life is something that can determine our health mentally, spiritually and even physically. Years of outreach and community work has taught me that it is impossible to help someone change without them being willing to adjust how they think.

The thing is, our thoughts are extremely subtle patterns that take time to be exposed. People cannot see what you are thinking, but over time it will shape how you speak, interact and will be evident through the consequences of your decisions.

The one thing that I have caught myself thinking about is my future and my direction. To be honest, at the moment I am living full to the hilt – there’s a whole range of different things I am involved in. Between work and church I am out every night of the week and work Saturdays. Sundays are a whole day  as well.

Am I delusional?

If you looked at my schedule you would probably think I’m crazy. And to be honest, I think that more than I should as well. But why have I chosen to live this way? Why have I chosen the hard hustle and to be involved in church as much as possible?

Simply – I know I’m called to full-time ministry. Now before you switch off, I want to encourage you to take out what I’m passionate about and replace it with your dreams.

I work part-time jobs so that I have enough flexibility to be involved with my local church as much as possible. I’ve had the privilege of being involved in pioneering a new location in my city, helped create and live produce large multimedia productions and have had the honor to lead multiple teams. All of this has been an investment into my calling – my ultimate dream.

But my thoughts have not always lined up with that reality. It is easy for me to become resentful of work and at times church when I’m tired or struggling financially. Having so many friends who I’ve done the journey with who are already in full-time ministry can sometimes tempt me to give in to jealousy. I have to specifically guard myself from thoughts of insignificance – that I somehow am unseen and not appreciated by those I’ve chosen to submit myself to. These thoughts can all lead to stress and borderline depression. The thing is – the more you’re invested in something, the harder it is to not be sensitive in that area.

It is very easy to be offended when you care deeply about something. I’m passionate about the local church – it changed my life and I believe it is the answer to the world. But I find myself in a long season where all I can do is wait and do what I can do to be as involved as possible. I’m in the greatest learning opportunity of life – and if I give authority to my emotions every second of the day, my thoughts can get intensely dark very quickly.

I’m actually just living in faith

Many people think I’m delusional – giving everything I can for seven years without much recognition. And I can feel that sometimes. It’s not easy to shut those opinions out. But at least people are taking notice. To the untrained eye, faith will always look delusional. I might seem crazy, but I know I am called to what I am doing. If someone else were to live my life without that conviction – I would agree that it probably wasn’t the greatest opportunity. But I have the faith that God is doing incredible things in and through me.

Just as people cannot see my thoughts, they won’t see my conviction or relationship with God immediately. But the fact that people are noticing how I am living my faith out in this season is also extremely encouraging. We were made to live big, impactful, adventure-filled lives.

So what are you passionate about? Have you found something that you feel created to do? It will probably drive you to do some crazy things. Many won’t understand and think you’re delusional. But the steel that you find in those moments – that fight that won’t allow you to settle – that’s a very fiery version of faith.

You might not feel like you have the drive to pursue your passions. I wouldn’t be able to lead the life I do without my relationship with Jesus Christ. When you have Him in your life, you are able to get through challenges and storms – and others will notice how you are able to live. When it comes to living the life we are made for, Jesus is the only foundation that will enable us to go the distance and still be healthy. If you would like to find out more about how He can be part of your life, click on the link below.