Have you ever had a moment where you’ve maybe said something that was emotionally fueled and as the words spewed out of your mouth, you immediately knew that it wasn’t called for and that maybe you should’ve just kept those lips of yours zipped!? I know I have had those moments, sometimes I feel so emotionally charged, that as cheeky words pass through my lips, I immediately regret it.
Sometimes hurtful words and things are said about others without any regard for their feelings. Sometimes we say things, and we feel entitled and justified to say it, when in fact it doesn’t make it right. Sometimes we entertain gossip, or find ourselves venting to everybody about somebody else who bothers us. Entertaining gossip is just as bad as being the one who verbally gossips. Our words have the power to build and to empower, in the same breath it has the power to break and to shackle others mentally and emotionally.
Choose your words wisely
We can choose to speak words that breakdown others, or negatively influence who we are, or we can choose to speak words of kindness, words of love, words that empower. Yes, we have a choice, and it may require us to use a filter, to use self-control, and to stop and ask ourselves “will my words build, empower, enlighten, or will it negatively bash and hurt others?”
What we say and how we say it will ultimately speak of our character, not the character of others. Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who is negatively bashing, gossiping about somebody else, so much so that it makes them look insecure, and all kinds of nasty? Before you speak negatively, ask yourself why or what makes you feel like that? Understand what you are feeling and thinking, and trace back to what triggers that off within yourself. Dig a little deeper, and go to the root of it, and deal with it accordingly.
When to keep your lips zipped
- In the heat of your anger.
- When you don’t have all the facts, and you’re basing everything on assumptions.
- If you purely want to gossip for the sake of breaking someone down.
- When you want to talk about someone or something, and that person is not their to defend themselves.
- Do not speak for the sake of speaking, or for the sake of being heard.
- If your words are purely going to be used to break down others.
Speaking in the heat of the moment may feel good in that moment, but it’s not actually doing any long-term good for either parties. Use your inner filter to sift through your thoughts and feelings before speaking, and allow yourself some time to quietly process through it. If you allow yourself that time, and practice self-restraint in that area of your life, you will probably find that you will feel emotionally more calmer, and you will want to respond with more logic rather than feeling emotionally charged. Easier said than done, but with time, and with conscious effort, it will become your new norm. Choose your words wisely, choose words that build and empower yourself and others.