Towards the end of last year, my father was diagnosed with stage-four osteoarthritis in both his hips. The news was a huge blow to our family as dad has always taken good care of his health. Now though, his movement was severely hampered and he was in terrible pain.
Years ago, my pastor and his wife went to see a medical specialist. They waited to hear the results of tests they’d had done on their son. As they sat nervously, the specialist confirmed their worst fears – their son had severe autism.
Whether it’s a heart breaking diagnosis, the loss of a loved one, a relationship breakdown or a job loss, there are things that come our way that we don’t want.
At the start of a new year most of us are looking forward to getting great things in 2017. But what happens when you get what you don’t want?
Jesus Christ reminds us that “here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world”. You don’t need too many days on earth to realise that this is true. If we expect to sail through life without any storms, we’ll soon be disappointed. Not that we should go through life expecting bad things to happen but, it’s more about our perspective and the questions we ask when bad things do happen.
And, are they really ‘bad things’, or are they perhaps opportunities for growth. By no means am I wishing for ‘bad’ things to happen, but I am beginning to think about those challenging situations a little differently.
Rather than getting bogged down with debilitating questions like:
- Why did this happen to me?
- Why did it happen now?
- Why didn’t I take better care of my health or my relationship?
- Why didn’t I see the warning signs?
- How am I going to survive?
Begin to change your perspective on the ‘bad’ thing that’s happened by asking more helpful questions that will help you focus on the future, rather than what’s happened and the past (which you can’t do anything about).
- What does this experience make possible?
- What can I do differently?
- What can I learn and how can I grow from this experience?
- What good can come from this?
- What can I be grateful for in this moment?
- How can I move forward?
“Experience teaches nothing, but evaluated experience teaches everything” – John Maxwell.
Following surgery, my father’s got new hips and is back to moving freely and without pain. My pastor friends have a far greater capacity to care for the suffering and compassion for the broken-hearted. Their circumstances have not changed and son still has severe autism, but their hearts have changed. Their perspective on life and people has changed – for the better.
This year, rather than focusing on getting great things and being sad when we get bad things, let’s aim to get a great attitude. Learn to be grateful for what we do have and view every moment as an opportunity to learn and grow.