Who are your friends?

If I posed that question to you, I imagine a number of names quickly come to mind. Some that you feel very confident about make it to the very top of the list. Then possibly some others that you’re not quite as sure of but you might add to the list to help make up numbers.

WHEN THINGS HIT FANS

Yesterday my wife tbV (the beautiful Val) and I moved house (again!). Having needed to move from our previous rented place six months ago and being unable to find a new place to rent till now, this became the second move since the beginning of the year (with a temporary stay with family in between).

We bought out a call on Facebook both times to see if any friends had time and inclination to come and help us move. It was interesting to see who responded.

Everyone is available when it’s a birthday party, a show or a celebration, but when it’s a move or a hospital visit or a crisis, that’s when you start to figure out who your real friends are.

STAND IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR

It’s easy to feel hard done by and disappointed when you put a need out into the open and not too many people respond. But perhaps a more helpful reflection is considering when last I helped someone move. How quick am I to jump to my friends’ calls for help when it’s not a particularly glamorous request? Ouch. Point made.

To be honest, my wife and I have some incredible friends in our lives and so we always know that we will have enough people jumping in to save the day when we are in desperate need. But we need to make sure that we are equally as ready to assist when they have needs.

I have heard many people moan about the state of their friendships. But I really believe that it is largely related to the state of the friendship you hold out. It borders on Hallmark card cheesy but I honestly believe that the best way to get a good friend is to be a good friend. It’s also the only variable we have any control over.

A HEALTHY DOSE OF GIVE AND TAKE

So, what kind of a friend are you? Are you someone who lifts up your friend’s needs above your own? In a balanced way, because you can also quickly become a doormat who only ever gives out and doesn’t receive and that is not helpful either. Good friendships are those which have a healthy balance between giving and receiving.

Is there perhaps a friend who comes to mind who you can reach out to and encourage today? Let them know one thing you really appreciate about their friendships. Good friends really are a gift from God.