Let’s start this conversation by listening to a song called Smack that by Akon and Eminem. Listen to the lyrics and push the beat aside. Take a long hard think about what this is saying about women. It’s not great, right?
Yes, but “it’s normal,” I can hear girls chime. Aren’t all men sex obsessed? Do you count yourself one of a lucky few if you manage to resuscitate a decent one from the growing pile of male lust and forgotten integrity girls have to select from?
I know, it can be quite depressing. Despite our hope as females fading faster than the natural resources on planet earth, there are still great guys out there. There are guys who hold together a family, who are strong for the ones they love, and who care about more than self gratification. These men are inspiring. They contribute positively to society. These are the real men of the world. Culture’s picture of what it takes to be a real man is not correct.
So, what actually makes a man – a “real man”?
A real man respects everyone
A real man doesn’t “trash talk” people around him, or place himself on a pedestal. He sees himself equal to the man who fills up his car with petrol, and the man who runs a large multinational company. He respects women.
A real man encourages
It’s easy to get together in the pub and talk about other people’s failures, or make fun of a wife or work colleague. A real man isn’t into taking others down, he works hard and believes in those around him. He speaks well of others and isn’t intimidated by success.
A real man doesn’t lead women on
Dating girls for convenience or sex without being willing to commit to a relationship is cowardly. Yeah, that’s right, cowardly. A real man does not see women as objects, prizes or commodities. He is intentional, honest and shows dignity. He knows his mind.
A real man works hard, but isn’t about money
If you have a huge bank balance, but no time for your family, then you are wasting your life. We don’t need lazy men. And we don’t need workaholics. We need real men who are present as a father and husband. Who take responsibility for the children they have fathered.
A real man prioritizes the right things
So you love rugby, or soccer, or fishing – all good. If you put these hobbies above your wife and children you are compromising important things for trivial things. As a real man your priorities are family, God, and work.
A real man doesn’t buy into a sex crazed world
The world is crazy: sex crazy. It’s hard not to get caught up in it. Lust is an insatiable desire: you make it satisfied. It always wants more and more and more. If you let lust get a hold of your thinking, you will throw away good things for cheap thrills. Real men show discipline in their thoughts and desires.
A real man is stable
A real man is not controlled by his emotions, or by other people. He knows when to say no and when to say yes. His wife and the people he knows are able to depend on him for solid wisdom and decision making. He thinks things through and he takes leadership.
A real man’s identity comes from God
A real man doesn’t need five girls on his arm, a convertible, an office with a plaque, a swiss bank account, and five tequilas to feel good about himself. A real man finds his identity and worth from his relationship with God. He knows God made him for a purpose and he has worth, without needing external validation.
A real man has integrity
It doesn’t matter how big or small something is, a real man will treat it with integrity. He is honest, shows consistency, and his actions and words match up. He doesn’t cheat, cut corners, or make unethical business decisions.
A real man takes responsibility for his actions
He doesn’t blame his family or partner for his mistakes. He apologises and is quick to change. He realises he isn’t less of a man because he says sorry, but more of a man because of his ability to admit wrong.
The world needs more good male role models to pivot the status quo. The world needs real men. Men, we beg you – don’t let culture rob you of true manhood. Women, don’t let yourself be treated badly or accept double standards. To the real men of the world, those who leave smacking to valueless celebrities: we salute you.