Pleasure is a metric commodity in society today. It can be measured along the scales of money, time and amount of communication. But there is a fourth unseen axis that truly activates the role of pleasure in everyday life. It’s that mystery dimension that has eluded me and many others into thinking ourselves way more innocent or pure than we actually are.

Let’s face it – everything we do is motivated by pleasing someone. You might not have thought about it much, but I don’t think it would take long for you to agree. Pleasure is an underlying currency that drives greed as much as it justifies revenge. It is an elusive reward for anger and violence, and traps millions in the throes of unhealthy indulgence – from food, to social media and sex.

So right now, who are you pleasing? I believe it can only be one of three people groups:

  1. Yourself

Never has this world ever been as encouraging of self-indulgence. We find ourselves in a generation where self-identification is at the pinnacle of all appreciation. If you want to indulge in a decadent chocolate dessert, the world will encourage you – even make you feel like you deserve it. If you want to look at porn online – many would say it’s just a normal part of life (which is an outrage). Both of these indulgences are scientifically proven to be detrimental to you physically.

The age of advertising has entrenched a sense of entitlement in our post-millennial perspective, when in fact we don’t deserve anything. As much as humanity as a whole deserves much, none of us have done anything to warrant the privilege of being able to go online. Even if you worked hard to earn the money for the device you are reading this on, the opportunities resulting in you being able to earn are fortunate and not deserved. They are moments of blessing that you chose to utilize.

It may seem harsh, but were you in control of whose womb you came from? What colour your skin is? Which gender you happen to be? And yet we all (myself included) believe that we deserve to please ourselves. I think the suicide rate, the rise of depression and aggression are all signs of a world way to obsessed with pleasing itself.

  1. Others

You might think that this is a way better option than that of the one above. Instead of looking after your own desires, you become the self-less martyr for other peoples’ causes. Don’t get me wrong, serving others is a vital and fundamental part of a healthy existence – but there is a line. This line is extremely subtle and dangerous. I have missed it countless times myself.

If you place other peoples’ pleasure on a pedestal and work tirelessly to meet their desires and needs, you can actually start losing yourself. If you consistently cast aside who you are to tend to those around you, you can very easily forget who you were made to be for the happiness of those around you.

This can manifest in something as small as someone’s opinion of you. If you worry so much about keeping them happy and impressed, you are losing precious moments that were meant to help you develop individually. In the Bible Jesus tells us to tend to the log in our own eye before trying to help someone get a speck out of theirs.

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You might be a little confused at this point – I have slated pleasing ‘self’, saying that we should look after others and then warned about pleasing others resulting in losing yourself. These are not absolutes – they are two ends of a spectrum.

So where is the balance?

  1. God

We were made by God and in our very existence, He was pleased with us. Pleasing God is where we find ourselves safely in the healthy middle of the spectrum. People will not always like your decisions. You may have to sacrifice what pleases you for what is healthy. But if you are intently doing your best to please God, you will find your soul will prosper and your confidence will grow.

Where pleasing yourself might continuously cost you financially and leave a trail of heartbreak; where pleasing others might cost you your health and leave you more broken than before – pleasing God costs you your whole life, but actually builds you up.

Submitting to your own desires makes you a captive of those desires. Submitting to others will result in the degradation of your own identity. Whereas, submitting to God unlocks the wonders of everything He created for you. If you would like to find out more, click on the link below.