One of the most vital things any parent can have is information. Babies, while being wonderful and priceless, have one major flaw: They arrive without any instructions. This shortfall can cause serious problems for newbie parents who are not only trying to figure out what on earth to do with their child but are doing it sleep deprived and most likely slightly shell-shocked. Being totally responsible for the life of another human being is a big deal! It’s a little scary and overwhelming and no matter how much you plan ahead and try to prepare, there’s a good chance that something unexpected will sneak up on you and take you by surprise.
The truth is out there
Fortunately we live in an era where information on pretty much any topic is freely and widely available. At a click of a button you can find out how to bath a newborn, how long a six-month-old should sleep during the day, and what to do when your four-year-old sticks a piece of lego up their nose. It’s all there, on the internet, just waiting for a desperate parent who needs to know how to navigate all manner of tricky situations. It’s fantastic! Or is it?
Take it or leave it
Advice and information are great but it’s not always easy to know what or who to listen to. One expert will advise letting your baby cry themself to sleep; another will tell you this will scar them emotionally for life. For every study that tells you baby formula will lead to obesity later in life there is another that says it makes no odds as long as you love your child. There is conflicting advice on everything from sleeping, feeding, discipline, television, playtime, medication, vaccinations, and the list goes on and on. So who do you listen to? And how do you navigate all the advice without completely losing your sanity?
1. Relax: Parenting isn’t a sprint race – it’s a marathon. You don’t need to have everything figured out immediately and if something isn’t working you can switch your approach and do it better the(n) next time. No parenting journey is perfect so give yourself permission to learn as you go and a few mistakes along the way doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
2. Follow your gut: No one knows your child like you do. Yes there are experts who have studied for years in their field and know all the theory there is to know but they aren’t with you at 3 am and the only thing that will get your child to go back to sleep is being held. You will know when your child is ready and able to cope with changes or in need of something, so follow your instincts.
3. Go with what works: If something works for you and your family it’s more important that you are functioning and happy than that you are doing everything according to the experts. If your children are healthy, happy, and progressing as they should, you’re doing something right!
4. Have fun: If you are worried that you’re getting it all wrong, rest assured that you aren’t alone. Even the best parents feel like they haven’t got a clue at times and that’s part of what makes them great parents. The fact is, if you’re worried it means you care, a lot! Don’t let the worry steal the joy of the moment. Childhood passes very quickly and the best bits can get lost in the pursuit of “getting it right”. Don’t forget to let go of the “job” aspect of parenting and have a bit of fun.
Knowing who and what to listen to can be as challenging as any other part of the parenting journey. We all need a bit of help from time to time and if you know where to look, you can find the answers you need. The Bible tells us:
If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought.