One of my closest friends is Nicola. She’s fun, a great cook, down to earth, reliable, organised and an all round win of a human being. How do I know her? Well, we’ve been friends since we can remember. You think I’m kidding? Nope. It wasn’t as if our Mothers drove out of the parking lot together holding matching pink baby blankets, but it was close to that. Nicola is the only human of my age and sex who lived in a 50km radius of my home where I grew up.

She’s awesome, so I’ve kept her around. But let’s be honest about the situation we became friends because we lived close to each other.

When I went to University I lived in what we called “residence”. It was a big shared house of girls. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. Yes, it was wild. And unruly. And fun. A lot of fun. I remember holding a dress up party on the shared grounds outside the law office, and it um… getting a bit out of hand. Our warden found us. I don’t think it was difficult, we were singing Bonnie Tyler at the top of our lungs. We were “talked to” and then had to perform in the Res Talent Competition as a punishment. Which was very, very embarrassing.

I’m still friends with some of those girls today, even though we are scattered throughout the world. Thing is, I would never have made friends with them had I not been forced to stay in the same place. When I arrived there I was different to a lot of the people there, and I didn’t even like some of them. By the end I was the same as the rest and we were all as tight as size down pair of lycra cycling pants on a Christmas body.

You see, how children make friends is usually a case of who is near by in the sand pit. How students make friends is a case of who is near me in the lecture hall and willing to buy me a beer when my funds run dry. Human beings are very predictable.

The thing is when you become an adult you have the opportunity to come in contact with loads of different people. You have a working world full of people with different ages, races and ideas. Things are messy, friends leave and other friends join. You start to realise that you can choose friends, you don’t have to be friends with some people because they are in the same neighbourhood as you. The dynamic shifts. Well, it should.

Studies say that if you want to improve in life you should surround yourself with people who have higher standards than you do. Or else ultimately, you end up dropping down. What you tolerate says a lot about you.

Who is the closest person to you in your life? Does this person make you a BETTER person? Is this person willing to talk to you about things that could be better? Does this person inspire you?

I work as a designer and one thing that designers have to get really REALLY good at is taking feedback. Whenever you design something everyone is going to tear apart your hard work. But it’s for the better. So once I am done with a design I send it to a colleague to get his take on what I have done. Why? Because he will make me better. Because if nobody looks at your work, your work won’t get better.

20% of the population is moving forward. 60% is doing whatever everyone around them is doing. 20% is moving backwards. If you are in the 20% going forward it’s probably because the people around you are going forward. Think of the people you know which elevate your thinking. Think about your friends, your colleagues, the person you are dating.

Keep the good ones, know your worth and be one of those 20% who move forward.